Lets Rant Some More

   I'll gladly admit I have been an ultra pro life person ever since I can remember and have always abhorred the sick abortion cult. Now we have these Planned Parenthood videos coming out to reveal the stark barbaric acts of humankind! But I am not willing to be that nice. I'll go as far to say these "butchers" are subhuman demons whose vile acts will eventually bring the wrath of an almighty God down on this nation! How a human being can even stoop to this level is beyond me. Are they possessed by Satan? Hmm me thinks they are.
    The pro-life movement needs to wake up and realize their efforts are worthwhile, one life saved is worth it all I agree, but nowhere near to stoping this barbarianism.
    Most of the pro life speakers, news people, bloggers and commentators all liken the demons who run Planned Parenthood and who perform  abortions to Hitler and his SS agents, or Mussolini and his gang, but they all  advocate the same thing...peaceful protests; call your legislators, pray, defund the Planned Parenthood cult.
   Now here comes the lightning bolt of a question...How did we rid the world of the likes of Hitler and Mussolini?
   I have a suggestion just in case no one likes how we eradicated Hitler...
   Make abortion a capital crime punishable by death (uh last time I checked, murder is murder) and take the billions that fund this horrific genocide and spend it on educating pregnant mothers...and fathers and help them find a better path.
   One thing I agree with is prayer...we need to pray for deliverance!

   More fuel for the mind.

I'm a half century old.......aaaaaaahh!

For my fiftieth birthday, my eldest daughter made me this amazing quilt. I didn't even know it was possible to do this but I guess I'm behind the times when it comes to technology. 

Also....I have to brag some more or my boys will feel left out. This is what they bought me for my grand ol' fiftieth.... that sounds pretty old huh.  m

 Here's a little something from On The Fly Publications....take a few secs and enjoy. Also go to wantedhero.com and check out all his cool stuff. If you liked my book please take a few secs to post a review on amazon...thanks a billion;-)

My big day has finally arrived....I'm so excited. My book is done and now available at amazon.com just in time for Christmas. Here is the link http://goo.gl/Oq62qq

It's been so long since I've posted on my blog but better late then never;-)

This book has over 200 funny sayings from the minds of children and will surely make you laugh out loud. So go ahead, flip through the pages, read laugh and heal.

No excuses

 We are picking chiltepin and pomegranates and the roundup starts on the fourth of Nov so we have a busy schedule for the next month or so. And then there's thanksgiving! Wow, time flies.

Was just reading some of my older posts and I find it interesting how we change through the years. Especially how we seem to know what the future holds. Most of the time we are wrong, but I sure enjoy the guessing game;-)
I did get the "USA is on a downward spiral" one right though. Ever since Bush took office and especially since Obama, the country has been heading into a black hole to who knows where.

It's amazing that a president will go against the people's will, his country, congress and the entire world just to plunge us into another senseless war against a country that doesn't make a difference in our lives. Even worse, he's supplying millions of dollars in weapons to the same terrorists who we've been fighting ever since the beginning of terrorism! What a f-ing disgrace.

Why, is the question of the year.

My answer is because he (Obama) wants to take his absolute 100% failure at running this country out of the spotlight. He simply can't handle the FACT that he failed miserably on all accounts and now wants to start WW111 to get the media off his back. The only promise he made right on was, his promise of CHANGE. Thank you Mr. President, you sure came through for us on that one. You gave us Obamacare, which is a massive failure and tax burden on taxpayers. You gave us socialism, NSA spying, huge tax increases, monstrous national debt and more scandals than all previous presidents combined. Yeah you promised change... for the worse.

Check out this probable future scenario called "The shoe's on the other foot, jackass"

Obama declares war on the Tea Party Patriots and skirmishes break out across the country. China and Russia decide they don't like what Obama is doing and decide to go to war against USA and remove that "worlds worst dictator" from office and put one of their own puppets in the White House.
How would Obama and congress feel about that? How would the people feel? Preposterous, unthinkable, no? Well that's happening right now with Syria.

Fuel for the mind.

The Two Choices

Which one is going to win? The Monsanto Man, or The Socialist Muslim? 

Which one is the better of the two evils? 

Either we have a country headed for pure socialism...or. Well I for one wouldn't want to live in 1940's Germany so I guess Monsanto Man is the better choice. 

Agree....or disagree.

Fuel for the mind.

Indian Canyon Dam

During the last four months we have been working on a thirty year dream. A dam in Indian Writing Canyon. The canyon is named so because it has numerous ancient hieroglyphics carved into the granite walls. When completed the dam will be approximately 25 meters high and will provide a small lake for reserve water supply and recreation (fishing, boating, skiing, ect) A crystal clear stream of water runs in this canyon ten months out of the year. During monsoon season it can become quite large, so we expect plenty enough water to fill the reservoir. The State government is funding approximately seventy percent of the cost and our community must come up with the rest, otherwise it would be nearly impossible.

On another note.
the monsoon season is officially here, but so far it hasn't rained that much at all. Here's to hoping and praying it will eventually.

It's roundup time!

    Roundup time is one of my favorite times of the year. Not only is the weather usually perfect, with cool temperatures, but the ranch is a perfect setting for working the animals and having fun at the same time. The corrals are near the river where the kids can fish and swim and the ranch is far enough away from home that we have an excuse to set up tents and act like were in the wilderness on a camping trip. This year started out terrible with no rain but the monsoon season was great so it ended on a positive note. We worked over six hundred animals, so for me it was much more work then spending time with the kids, but it was great. Next year we expect over eight hundred animals. Due to the size of the ranch, the roundup took about ten days with nine hired cowboys. Over all, we had a blast, especially the kids.

    I just had a brain fart and to change the subject here, I noticed that most of the bloggers (including me) who used to blog nearly every other day, have slowed down to posting once a month or longer. What's up with that Lafe? (speaking to myself)
I have a fb page and a webpage and this blog to upkeep so I have an excuse...hmm...not!
I also noticed that all of my blogging friends no longer visit my blog, waaaah, boohoo, poor me. As you can tell I'm feeling sorry for myself even though I know it's 100% my fault.

    Now for some fuel for the mind. If you want humor. If you want to laugh out loud. If you want some serious comedy. If you want a peek into the innocent minds of children, then you must read my book Kids Who Tell It Like It Is. You wont be disappointed.

Now that my friends, is  a little fuel for the mind. Good day folks.

The Harvest.

This week I will finally be done harvesting and thrashing my chiltepin peppers. Now, since it is a new venture, I need to find some buyers. Last year at the pecan convention there was a buyer from China asking about chiltepin, so I figure to try and contact him somehow. Chiltepin is the second most expensive spice in the world today and is apparently in high demand so I shouldn't have a problem....fingers crossed.

Here is a pic of some chiltepin drying on my front porch;-)

On a different note, THANKSGIVING is right around the corner. It's our biggest celebration of the year. Only this time it's not going to be the same:-((  
At least half of the normal family and friends can't make it this year, so needless to say, our normal huge thanksgiving bash will be simmered down to a small party...boohoo.
There will still be the big dinner and lots of outdoor sports. We're still having the dance and talent show, but no carnival or quad ride:-(
After the holiday weekend it's off to the ranch for roundup time! Everyone is welcome so bring food, tents, fishing poles, camping gear, cameras, sombreros. I'll supply the horses, saddles and rodeo entertainment.
It's amazing how time goes by so fast. It seems like only last week we were celebrating thanksgiving.

My book is finally published, hooray!

My first book, Kids Who Tell It Like It Is has been published and is available on all digital ebooks at Smashwords, Amazon, Barnes Noble. 
This book presents more than two hundred humorous situations from the family of author Lafe Langford and from families around the globe.

This honest work will tickle your funny bone by opening your eyes to the bright, beautiful and often hilarious views of a child. Here is the link.

Kids Who Tell It Like It Is, an Ebook by Lafe Langford 

                                                                              

2012...Is the Year of Crisis!

2012...Remember that date folks. Because that's the year it's all going down, down, down. There will be a worldwide economic collapse starting with the good o'l USA. This address will take you to a video that will shock you and also warn you of the coming crisis it 2012. Just type it in your address bar and prepare to be amazed. This same economist predicted correctly the last crisis in 08.
www.AftershockNow.com

This is my favorite time of the year, harvest season. Besides the fall colors and the cool haunting winds, it's harvest time! For the last two weeks I've been harvesting my crop of Chiltepins. For those of you who don't know what a chiltepin is I will post a picture of them here. Chiltepin are called the "Mother of all Chile" they are a small round and very hot chile pepper about the size of a pea. They grow in the wild only and are native to Texas and northern Sonora Mexico. For the last couple years, a cousin has grown a small patch of chiltepin successfully, so this year I decided to try my luck at it. I bought seed at about forty dollars a pound and planted fifty thousand plants in between my pomegranate trees. The crop did exceptionally well and as of today, I will finish harvesting them. I have them all out on large plastic tarps drying right now. Online, they are the second most expensive spice on the planet, which is good for us I guess. The chiltepin is not a very popular chile, but it is up and coming and soon to be in great demand as even buyers from China are over here trying to buy it.

Last winter a record frost killed all the wild harvest, so this year we expect the price to soar even much higher than it is now.
Have a wonderful year folks.
Just more fuel for the mind.

   Out of EIGHT daughters, my third daughter Michelle will be the first to get married. Her wedding will be here at our place on the 8th of October 2011.

  I have been asked several times now by family members, "How does it feel to be losing a daughter" or "Are you feeling sentimental now that your daughter is leaving" or "is it sad to have to give your daughter away?"
 
   I just figure it's all part of life. You grow up, get married, have kids. They grow up, get married, have kids. Come on folks, it's the circle of life, there's nothing sad about it, that's what life is all about, it's a joyous occasion!

  So let's jump over that stick, eat some barbecue and celebrate;-)

Thoughts for Reflection

What is life all about?

Is it about focusing your entire life on climbing the ladder of success and wealth?

Is it about spending all your time and energy seeking fame and worldly praise?

Is life one continuous party?

Is it all about sports and your favorite sports heros?

Are any of the above, virtuous, or admirable qualities?

Name one person who successfully achieved the above and died, or is still living for that matter, a happy and fulfilled person, surrounded with true friends and a loving family.

A big problem with relentlessly seeking wealth is, (1) You inevitably step and grind on others to achieve your goals. (2) You invariably neglect your family and friends. (3) You are stressed out and unhappy, unless you are sleeping;-)

The problem with a continuous party is, (1) You normally acquire some very bad and addictive habits. You never seem fulfilled in life and you never can seem to make ends meet. And much more won't mention.

The downside of being a sports fan is (1) You are worshipping idols, which is forbidden in the Bible. (2) Once again, you neglect your family in favor of playing sports, or watching your favorite sports heros.

After years of seeking some of these "virtues" I have come to the conclusion that life is (1) Not about the above, but about family and friends.
(2) It's about being content with what you have and seeking joy and happiness.

To really find true joy and true friends, one must give of his means and of himself. That is the fundamental example Christ gave in his lifetime on earth. He gave of himself.

Now that my friends, is fuel for the mind.
Goodnight.

The US government should outlaw golf clubs. They darn near killed my kid!:)

My son Timothy, age nine, was playing golf with his best friend Andre  yesterday and it turned into a disaster! They were taking turns hitting the ball when Andre swung and missed. Here comes Tim to take his turn when Andre swings again and hits Tim point blank smack in the face, knocking two front teeth completely out of his mouth and one other shoved back into his mouth. I was at the ranch and came home to find my wife ready and waiting to leave for the state capitol Hermosillo five hours away where our dentist lives.
    We could only find one tooth, thankfully it was the front one. We put it in a special solution on ice and were sitting at the dentist office five hours later. Tim had to have surgery but the tooth was replanted and he is now doing fine....minus one tooth:( The dentist said when Tim is fifteen, he can get braces and close the gap of the missing tooth.

The bill.....$1000.00   in the States it would have been five-six grand so can't complain I guess.

My new webpage.

http://wp.me/1tOJM      Here it the link to my new webpage I'm setting up. Come on over and check it out.  Just copy and paste in your address bar.

Plenty of wild life lurking on the ranch.

    We caught this bad boy on the game camera the other day. Didn't know we had bears on the ranch, but proof is in the picture, wow. We have several game cameras set up in various locations and have caught pictures of many different varieties of animals like, deer, mountain lion, bobcat, lemurs, turkey, bear, coyote, wild pig, raccoon and of course our cows. We also have two pics of an extremely rare animal who's name I can't mention for fear of reprisal from the EPA, but believe me, there are only one or two of these animals known to be living in the USA.
 
   At this time, northern Mexico and southern USA is going through one of the worst droughts in history. Just talked to a neighbor rancher the other day and he said he is losing two or three cows a day to heatstroke! So far we have been blessed to have only lost about five cows. But more hot weather is to come before the rains arrive...if they ever do. Pray for rain folks. I know in most other parts of the country they are getting too much rain so I guess we can't complain too much. A twenty five year drought is way long enough though, let's get back to normal please...

Internet at last!

After months and months of absence, I have finally got satellite internet installed...woot woot!
A lot has happened since I fell off the planet, but for now let's just be happy I'm back;)

I'm busy reading Jaime Buckley's book called Wanted Hero and when I get done I'll post my review of it. Meanwhile my book, Kids Who Tell It Like It Is, is getting much closer to being published, so I'll cross my fingers there.

Vacation with TEN kids...

Decided to go visit my oldest daughter in Salt Lake City so we put the camper on the truck and loaded up the family and headed north. Just about an hour out of Phoenix the truck decided it didn't want to run anymore and just lost all power, coming to a stop on the side of the road. I turned it off and we sat in silence a few minutes contemplating on what to do next. Finally I turned the key on and it started back up but was running quite rough. We turned around and headed back towards Phoenix but Taylor convinced me to turn back around and try to stretch our luck. Well, we hobbled into Vegas with the truck way under powered but still running. I drove down the strip to show the kids all the billion dollar casinos and my old stomping grounds. They were shock-ed and amazed. By now it was about two in the morning and we decided to keep on trucking. Four hours later in Cedar City the truck flat out died but I managed to coast into a Auto Zone. Here I bought a new fuel filter and changed it. This helped out a little and the truck started back up but still was running on only four or five cylinders. We pulled into Salt Lake and the next day I took it down to the Ford dealer. Walking into the service department a service tech came up and said, "How can I help you sir?" I said, "I'm looking for someone I can bribe," Motioning with his hand toward his cubicle, he said, "Come right this way sir." We went in and he shut the door. "So what do you need," he asked. "Basically, I bought the worst truck Ford ever made and I"m sick of dumping money into it and I'm just wondering if you could run this through the service department on someone else's warranty or something like that," I said with a smirk.
    "Weeeeell, if the truck was a few years newer I could help you but ever since this depression, Ford has put the screws to all the dealers and won't allow us to do any warranty work without proof. But...I can line you up with a mechanic that works really cheap." So he calls over a mechanic and we walk outside to discuss it. He proceeds to tell me he can work on his own time at the dealer and use all their tools and get Ford parts under wholesale prices and that he would charge me thirty bucks an hour instead of one hundred  ten bucks that the dealer charges. I said "Go for it," and he had it fixed and done the next day for twelve hundred bucks instead of three grand the dealer would have charged. Four injectors were shot, plus the fuel pump. Believe me, while there I was mighty tempted to trade my rig in on a new 2011 gas model. Folks take a lesson from this. Don't ever buy a diesel truck unless you are going to use it for what it was made for......towing large loads. First of all diesels are 8 grand more then gas pickups and all diesel parts are way more expensive and diesel fuel is now 50 cents a gal more then gas! So, if your are going to make money with your pickup, then by all means buy a new Ford diesel (not chevy or dodge..heh) and and giv'er ell man.
    Now with that all behind us we've been here for a over a week. Of course the weather was terrible during the whole week with snow, snow, snow. The Wasatch  Mountain now have a record amount of snow totaling fifty feet deep! Should have went skiing but we didn't. Maybe next time.
   Today is the first beautiful day with great temperatures and full sun shining down on us, and we're LEAVING! waaaaaaaah.......
   One very positive thing happened while here was I meet with a friend who is going to build me a website and help publish my book. FINALLY, hooray!

Borrowing from Mom's house :(

   I know it definitely looks like I fell off the edge of the planet, but I"M BACK! for at least a post or two. I decided to take advantage of my dear Mother's Internet for now.
    A lot has happened since I last posted so I'll try and catch up a little here. I have been very busy with my orchard and ranch. We have had only about 2 inches of rain since Jan of 2010! Unbelievably dry. We normally get about 16 inches a year. The July-August monsoon season didn't rain at all, neither did it rain with the Dec-Jan winter rainy season. So, the river didn't even get muddy, much less flood. And now, with the dry weather, the cattle are starting to show it. We have been moving them around the ranch, mainly down in the river area. So far this season we've had over 120 calves born, so at least that's going good.
   To make matters worse we had a cold spell a month or so back and it got down to 11 degrees! That is the coldest temperature ever recorded here, and what a disaster it made. I lost over 1200 pomegranate trees! My brother Aaron lost as many or more. It froze all the vegetable crops in northern Mexico and prices have doubled already. The normal coldest temp here is about 25 degrees. I have to say, the weather is going NUTS. I know it sounds like I'm complaining but I'm not. When I see what's happening in Japan I count my blessings and pray for them, wow it is sad.
    I want to give my condolences to my good friend Thomas in Dallas who just had another relative killed in the violence in Juarez Mexico. That is so, so sad and it makes my blood boil when I think of the dastardly murderers who kill to get gain. They are sick bastards! I'm sorry for your loss, my friend. May God bless the family of the innocent victim.
   Good night all.
   
   

BLAST! I have no internet access.

Sorry folks, my internet has been down now for more than two months!!!!!! But hope to have it up soon.

Home at last!

    News Alert! I'm HOOOOOME!!!!!!! After twenty nine hours of driving, most of it across Texas, I arrived home safe and....well sound I think. The drive over the mountains into our valley was spectacular. Large thunderstorms were showering rain and lightning up and down the valley as I drove down into it. And best of all, the desert smell after a rainstorm.......WOW, nothing else like it! After resting up for a day with the family, I had to check on my pomegranate orchard to see how it was doing. Also drove down to the ranch on quads to check on the cattle. Everything looked good and it's great to be home again, thank the Lord.
    Before I left Baton Rouge, the boys took me out deep sea fishing in the gulf and we had a swell time catching over fifty speckled trout with a few mackerel and red snapper. What was so interesting was watching the sharks try and eat our fish as we reeled them it. Several times when we had a fish on the line a large eight or nine foot shark would leap out of the water and gulp down our fish then disappear below the surface dragging the line until it broke. It was exhilarating for sure. Sometimes as we desperately reeled in a fish, a shark fin would suddenly break surface and follow it and then disappear for a few moments until suddenly our pole would almost break and the line would snap as the mighty beast stole our catch. The movie JAWS surly came to mind each time this happened. I was beginning to wonder if one wasn't going to jump up and bite our small boat in half....! We were in a small twenty-three foot fishing boat and probably would have made a tasty snack for one of them great whites.
   
    Still haven't finished either of my books but hope to be done soon. I'm still collecting funny sayings from the mouths of children, so if anyone wants to share them with me I would love to put them in print. Trying to get at least two hundred pages. So far I'm at one hundred and fifty, so we're getting close. Children sure are a riot. I still get a good laugh from reading through it time and time again.

    On a different note, the State legislator just passed a law prohibiting texting while driving. Ok so I know they don't have anything better to do than pass absurd laws to "protect" us helpless sheeple but when are they going to get the drift? How much money do they need? If you are caught texting, its a one hundred-seventy five dollar fine! OK, so what about putting makeup on while driving? Or, hollering at your kids while driving? Eating while driving? Talking to your passengers while driving. I sincerely think they just need to put a auto camera on every corner and in every car that gives you a ticket if you fart louder than fifteen decibels! Or if you scratch your butt while driving, or walking for that matter. Actually, I have a better idea, so you scoundrel politicians take note. Why not make it simple and pass a law that forces everyone who works and is productive, to just bring their paychecks and credit and give it to the "all-knowing and mighty" government and then get on welfare and live like the rest of the unproductive world? That would solve all our problems, since you know what's best for us dumb brutes. I wouldn't be surprised if the likes of Nutsy Peeusky and Hillbilly Clinton are already considering this world problem solving idea. Wake up America and kick them in the ass out of office!
Now that my friends, is fuel for the mind.
Have a great day.

Slavery

Wow! I can't believe it has been almost two months since I last blogged....wow again! Ever since I arrived here in Baton Rouge it has been pure slavery from dawn till dark every day. I get home to my son's house and am so tired I normally go strait to the shower and bed. But hooray folks, I'm almost finished with the house I built. Just lack to install windows and doors and I'm outta here! It was a huge two million dollar home on a nice river and I'll get some pics up soon for all to see. When I left my home I didn't realize there are places on this world where you have to have an AC unit mounted on your back at all times or you'll melt right where you stand....oly cow it is hot and humid here!
    So much has happened in the last two months it seems I just lost track of time and space. I'll try and keep up from now on but can't make any promises with all that's going on in my life. A few days ago on the job I dropped the sawzall off a wall and it bounced off the ladder and hit my leg and ripped a huge two inch long gash in it. I had to run down to the drugstore and buy some butterfly bandages to pull the gapping wound back together so it would heal. A few days later I was sawing a board when it slipped out of my sweating hands and of course slid down my leg, tearing the bandage off and ripping my poor wound wide open again....arrrrrg! If any of you heard some awful foul language echoing off the mountains or city walls that day, sorry it was me for sure. Now I'm going to sport a huge scar on my leg for the rest of my life...wah. It'll just add to the many other ones I have so no big deal.
Hope all is well with everyone. May God bless.

Happy Father's day to all you dads out there.

I was expecting a thumbs down father's day today since I'm a thousand miles away from the lovin' wife and family, but my boys surprised me this morn with a $220 pair of Ecco shoes and a $400 benchmade Infidel auto knife...wow! The girls bought me a wallet, belt, shirt, candy...mmm! Little Tim's bought me a "cool laser flashlight, huh dad." After the presents were opened we all piled in the truck and headed down to New Orleans to The Aquarium and spent the day there, it was fun. Got to see the world famous white alligator. After that, I was starved so we headed back to all you can eat crab legs...mmm! I also got a happy father's day call from the best part of me, (my wife) and all the kids back home. It turned out great after all and I'm a happy camper with my new Benchmade toy, I can't stop switching the blade in and out!
 Hope you all have wonderful family and friends and enjoyed a happy fathers day. Wish you nothing but the best in life.
Now that my friends, is fuel for the mi....well fuel for me anyway.

In Baton Rouge for a while

My son called from Baton Rouge and wanted me to come help him build a couple of big homes.One of these is over 11,000 sq ft! So, I headed east and drove straight through all night and day reaching my destination 24 hours later. I've driven this route many times but every time I'm amazed at how big the state of Texas is. Exactly 880 miles from one end to the other! Wow, what a long drive. Another thing I'm amazed at is the difference in drivers. In Louisiana, the people are actually somewhat courteous. For instance, when pulling out of a shopping center into traffic usually the first car will always let you in. In California....no way! In Arizona....not a chance, you have to wait until there are no cars coming. If you try and squeeze in real quick, you'll get a loud blast on the horn and the middle finger. You have to be real careful in those States because it could easily turn into road rage and you could get shot in the head. Which reminds me. I was cruising down Interstate 15 in California a while back, and obviously wasn't paying too much attention because before I knew it, I had to merge into the right lane. Well, I checked the mirror and there was a car coming up behind me but I still had time, and room to squeeze in, so I flipped the blinker on and started to turn in. Well, this dude behind me wasn't about to let that happen and he romped on the accelerator and shot up beside me, forcing me to whip back into my lane which was quickly nearing it's end. This forced me to actually hit the brakes hard and run off the freeway for a few seconds before I could get back in behind this creep. Of course without thinking my middle finger went up and out my window at this asshole and he didn't like it at all. He slammed on his brakes, swerving his car back and forth in front of me flipping me off and shouting obscenities at me forcing me to nearly rear-end the jackass. I quickly flipped out my cell phone and acted like I was calling the police to which he did the same, waving his phone at me like "yeah I can call the police too you #@^$%." That is one time I really wish I had a cop on my tail to witness the arrogance of this prick. I realized this was one of those crazed road warrior barbarian lunatics that would use a gun if he had one, so I slowed way down and let him do his thing. I did call the CHP and they took down my complaint but who knows if they made anything of it. It just seems that nobody gives a damn about anyone but themselves anymore. Most everyone is in a freakish rush to get to where ever they are going and God damn anyone who gets in their way! What is this world coming too?
Now that is fuel for the mind.

Kids who tell it like it is. This is why we go to school.

   

 Preston must have had insect genes in his blood because wherever he went or whatever he did, it had something to do with insects. Spiders, Walking Sticks, Praying Mantis, Scorpions, he loved them all. Today was his first day in school and of course he stuffed a few of his "friends" in his desk and made sure they were comfortable before paying attention to the task at hand. The teacher wanted all the students to write a small letter of introduction to the class to start the school year. Preston was excited to let everyone know what he liked best of all, so he penned this short sentence on a clean sheet of paper. 

"Hello, my name is Preston and I love insex."

 Don’t know anyone who doesn’t.

A stressful but blessed two weeks with number 14!

  On the 18th of April at about 11pm  my wife went into labor with our fourteenth child! Before we married we were discussing how many children we wanted. She said she figured we'd have twelve kids and I countered with "Oh I think were gonna have fourteen like my mom." When we reached twelve she thought that would be the last  one but lo and behold, little Angelina Kate came along and made thirteen. We thought for sure she would not have another child so you can imagine our surprise when four years later she became pregnant with number fourteen.
   And now our midwife was telling us we needed to transport to a hospital because my wife was having complications. We quickly loaded up the necessary supplies and headed to the nearest hospital two hours away.  Our midwife all along had told us the baby would be small, at about five to six pounds according to her measurements. The doctor gave her a sono-gram and told us the baby was only three pounds and that we needed to be in a special hospital three hours further away. Here, another doctor examined the information given us by the previous doctor and concluded Norine needed to take a drug that would stop labor and allow the baby's brain to develop for at least five days. Norine refused and asked them to take their own sono-gram and they would see that the baby was not premature but full term. This upset them a little to question their authority but they finally did and found the baby to be four and a half pounds and that she needed an immediate cesarean. All this time (two days) I was out in the waiting room on a hard seat biting my nails impatiently. But this was a womans only birthing hospital and no men were allowed in except during a two hour window each day. We had all of our babies naturally and my wife did not like the idea of a cesarean but she finally relented and they wheeled her into the operating room. The doctor then remembered to ask her when she had last eaten. "Just a little while ago," was the answer. "Well, we can't operate for another nine hours," said the doctor slightly upset.
   My wife now had time to think about what was happening and she said a little prayer that if it was not meant to be that she had a cesarean, she would go into labor and have it naturally. Five minutes later, she started regular labor pains every five minutes. Now in the hospital she met a doctor who had lived with her cousin for three years in San Diego, so he was almost related to her! He was very helpful and went out of his way to see that she was comfortable. Five hours later, little Travis was born naturally and weighed in at five and a half pounds! Just to save face, the doctors still insisted he was premature. But our midwife had been right all along. The next morning in came the doctor who was to perform the cesarean quite upset. "Why didn't you have a cesarean, why didn't you?" she questioned angrily. "How many kids have you had?" asked Norine. "None," was the answer. "Well, I went into labor and I've had thirteen kids and I know what my body can do," said Norine.
    A day later, after x-rays and sono-grams, they gave the baby a clean bill of health and sent us home rejoicing. Five days later, little Travis started vomiting and started turning blue all over his body. This made the hair stand up on the back of our heads because this was the tell-tell sign that our daughter Amanda had when she needed major heart surgery. We headed to another hospital three hours away and the doc took an x-ray and said the heart was swelling and we needed to go see a heart specialist at once. We figured Salt Lake was our best bet since that is where Amanda had her operation, but Salt Lake was 19 hours away and the doctor didn't think we would make it. We drove straight through to Phoenix all night and by then our baby was having difficulty breathing even with oxygen, so we checked into emergency at Phoenix Children's Hospital. After an ultrasound, the Cardiologist (Who just happened to be a relative. Small world huh?) showed us where in his aorta he had a growth or a narrowing that was preventing the blood from passing through to the lungs. He needed immediate surgery to cut out the section of vein and reattach it. Sitting on the chair watching as they prepared our little seven day old child for major surgery was heart wrenching. He was such a tiny helpless little man. It seemed impossible to be able to operate on such a little baby. He was crying as loud as his little lungs would allow as they inserted needles and tubes into his fragile body but soon was still and silent when the drugs took effect.
    We sat in the intensive care unit all alone in agony for two hours counting each minute until at last the doctor came in and told us the operation was successful and little Travis was doing fine and would be back with us shortly. Four days later Travis was released from the hospital and we headed home for recovery. It is incredible that a child can recover from heart surgery that fast. Needless to say, neither of us had any sleep in the last two weeks, but we felt very grateful to have our child with us still. During our stay many thoughts of despair went through my mind but one day as I sat in the waiting room a large family came in heads bowed, all crying uncontrollably. Their eight year old child had just died of a stomach infection. It was terribly sad to see and I thanked God that my child was still with us. It made me realize there is always someone in a much worse predicament and we should always be grateful and never complain.
So my friends, this is why I haven't had time to post anything on my blog. It has been a very stressful two weeks for sure.
And that my friends is fuel for the mind.

Are guns dangerous? YUP!

    Danny and I "borrowed" Dad's 22 pistol and hurried down to the river to see how many fish we could catch. Like ya right, we were going fishing. I guess if you call throwing cans in the river and shooting at them as they float by "fishing" then we weren't lying. Danny was in command and was plinking away at the cans as I threw them in. At last I decided Danny had shot his share of the bullets and it was now my turn.
    "Gimmie the gun right now, it's my turn," I ordered trying to sound as bossy as I could.
    "No, I'm older and I get to shoot more than you," smiled Danny with a look of superiority.
    "I'll tell Dad you took his gun without permission if you don't give it to me right now," I warned.
    "Go ahead big tattletale."
    "Hand it over right now!" I yelled reaching up to grab it from him. Then a struggle ensued with me trying to grab the gun away from him. You would think I would have learned something from the "knife hacking incident" several years back, but I guess not.
    "Knock it off  you idiot. Don't you know how dangerous it is to fight over a gun? It could go off and kill someone," he ordered as he lowered the gun. Then, "BAM" it did go off for real! He had unintentionally pulled the trigger and fired the gun. His face immediately grimaced in pain and he started howling like a coyote at a full moon.
    "Ouch, damn it hurts!" he cried, "See what you've done. Now I'm probably going to die!"
    I was in shear terror and white as a ghost. I followed him as he limped around, asking him where it had hit him and begging him not to tell Dad on me. Like for sure, Dad wasn't going to find out. His son had just shot himself and needed immediate medical attention and I wanted to keep it a secret.
    "I think it went through the bone," groaned Danny staring down at his leg in agony. By now I was willing to do anything, but oh no, Danny had a good thing going here so he kept it up.
    "It's all your fault you stupid kid. You shouldn't have been trying to grab it from me. Now I might not ever be able to walk again.
    "What are we gonna do? We can't tell Dad, he will kill us," I said terrified of the future.
    "I don't know but you better let me lean on your shoulder and help me walk back home or I might bleed to death before we get to a hospital."
    I immediately became a volunteer crutch and started walking slowly back home.
    "I don't see any blood or hole in your foot. Where did it hit you?" I said becoming a little suspicious.
    "Gosh, haven't you seen the movies? Sometimes it takes a little while before blood spurts out all over," he answered trying to hide his smile.
    "You're lying, you didn't get hit. Take your shoe off and let me see your foot," I ordered.
    "OK, help me sit down," he said dragging it out as long as possible.
    He carefully untied his shoe and grimaced in false labor as he pulled it off. He then began thoroughly looking for a bloody hole, or a missing toe, or even a scratch. But he searched in vain. When I finally realized it had been a setup, he began rolling in the dirt laughing at me. I was eying that sixshooter and getting ready to make a jump for it so I could show him what a real bullet felt like.
    After he had laughed himself sick, he sobered up and said, "No, serious though, I thought for a minute that I had shot my foot because it just went off accidentally. It must have been a close one cause it was aiming right at my it."
    "Well you almost gave me a heart attack you idiot," I said relieved at not being implicated in a murder.
    "Well, that'll teach ya not to be grabbing guns anymore now won't it?"
    I guess it did....for a while anyway.
  

Playing with gunpowder!

    Not very many kids in this world get to grow up in an environment like we did. The beautiful river running by our farm made it a paradise. We could go swimming, fishing or boating any time we wanted. We had the mountains all to ourselves for hunting and hiking and camping. Our parents owned a herd of horses for riding the many trails. We had homemade go-carts and motorbikes. You would think that with all this excitement we would be spending our free time at doing one of the above. But  oh no, we had better things to do. Like sneaking down to the hidden weapons cache and stealing a two gallon can of gunpowder. Now this wasn't your normal fine gunpowder. This was a special powder much more dangerous. We figured life wasn't exciting unless you  tempted the grim reaper once in a while. Or unless you put your life on the line for your buddies, yes sir. And since the opportunity to become a war hero didn't come around too often, we were forced to create the scenario ourselves. There were several us you young boys in this group as we hauled this two gallon can of gunpowder to where we thought no one could see us.
    "Let's take this and see how big a fire it makes," said Someone. Up until now I didn't know there was a kid named someone in the family.
    "That sound like a great idea," said Someone else. That was Somebody's brother, I swear.
    "Dump a little pile on the ground and light it so we can watch it burn," offered some other Einstein. So, the oldest one in the pack dumped a small pile on the ground and struck a match to it. We all jumped back and watched the fire shoot into the air.
    "Cool, like wow dude, do it again, only this time make a bigger pile!" Well, this time we ran for cover as the flames shot into the air.
    "Awesome dude, that's some sweet stuff. Let's make a bigger pile this time." It goes without saying that is what we did, only this time a lethal mistake was made. In his haste to get away from the flames the "fire-whisperer" left the can full of powder with the lid off, only a few feet away from the fire. Thus the fire from the "biggest" pile ignited the much larger can of powder.
    A huge explosion resounded throughout our valley as fire shot over two hundred feet into the air! A few seconds later after we had gathered our senses, and body parts, did we realize what had just happened. All of us....except one person of course....escaped the searing heat of the flames. Naturally it had to be the youngest innocent bystander, my brother David who was not even eight years old. Just as he had turned to run away, he tripped over a rock and down he went, face first into the ground. Before he could  think about getting up, fire was raining down from  heaven as we watched helplessly from a distance. He quickly jumped up and started running away as the smoking flames burned through his clothing. I shifted from shock into high gear and chased him down, slapping at the fire on his clothing and putting it out. At the shop a few hundred yards away, Uncle Paul and the rest of the world had heard the explosion and came running to see what in God's burnt earth had happened!
    Mom started to cry when she saw her son, but she quickly pulled herself together and took charge. She started applying Aloe Vera leaves to the large blisters that were now forming on his back. This helped tremendously but he was still in agony. The only solution was to lay him on his stomach on a plank with both arms in buckets of cold water while she softly soaked his back with a wet cloth. Once again, Dad was gone on a trip with the only vehicle in the family that could have taken him to the hospital several hours away. As usual there were no phones or means to communicate with the outside world, so we had to do the best we could, right there. All night long and a few days after that, Mom was by his side keeping a wet cloth on his burns to soothe the pain.
   When Dad returned and saw his son lying there suffering, he was furious. I was the oldest of his sons at the "bomb making" incident, so he took his anger out on me in the form of a hard whipping which I deserved. I should have got my younger brothers and got the hell out of there, but I didn't, I was part of it. The next day I was pretty sore from that whipping but I'm sure it didn't compare to what David was going through. He eventually healed up just fine except for a few scars on his elbows and back. After that catastrophe, we steered clear of gun powder for a long time, but one thing leads to the next and now instead of gunpowder, it would be guns! But we'll wait for the next post to tell you about that one.
And that my friends, is fuel for the mind.

Joe gives the scammers hell. You rule Joe!

Just got back from http://joe-capuano.blogspot.com/ Shadow of my life blog. He is downright hilarious! I'll bet those scammers are wetting their pants in anticipation of his complying with their stupid requests. I want to give Joe an award, he deserves it. So come on over an grab it. If you want a good laugh get on over to his blog.

Just one of those average good 'ol days in my young life.

   When I was about eight years old, we moved from Vegas out to our ranch in the isolated rocky mountains. We were very poor and for a few years we didn't even have the luxury of indoor plumbing. Upon arriving at the farm, Dad was broke. We had to make do with a "temporary" living quarters in the form of a big green army tent. Dad did improve on it a little by installing a real working door instead of a zipper flap and a couple of glass windows. Yet for quite some time, the most important thing which is a bathroom, was a luxury Dad couldn't afford. So, early in the morning when the urge to go is at its zenith, we young boys would wander outside rubbing our eyes like zombies. Then we'd all line up on the bank in the front yard and have a "see who can go the furthest" contest. I always wondered why those trees down below turned yellow and died. Just imagine a half dozen young boys, some in their P-j's others just in their skivvies, all lined up on the bank arcing nice streams down on those poor trees.
   Now the women folk weren't endowed with the same plumbing as us boys, so Dad solved this by building a nice outhouse for them. Now they had no reason to complain because this baby was a side-by-side double-crapper, that way there would be no waiting in line. The only problem with this beauty is it didn't afford central heating, so in the winter months when you went out in the middle of the night to "moon the rattlers" it was mighty cold. The women once again complained and Dad solved this by building some indoor pluming in the form of a plywood box with a hole in the top. Over that was a folding lid and underneath, a five gallon bucket. Dad graciously gave us young boys the honor of emptying it morning and evening and you can bet we weren't too happy about it. But at least the cold blooded people didn't have to go out into the freezing darkness to find the "dual-cesspool" anymore.
    In the summer months our temporary dwelling was like an oven and attracted all kinds of slimming creatures and pesky insects. There were tarantulas and black widow spiders; huge ten-inch centipedes and evil scorpions, gila monsters and diamondback rattle snakes. Of all these, the devilish little scorpion was by far the most annoying. The others pretty much minded their own business, but not that trouble seeking scorpion. He would purposely smell out a human 10000 times his size and launch a full scale barbed attack on him. I don't understand a scorpion's thinking. Why would they attack someone 10000 times their size? Do they think they're spartan warriors or something? Don't they know they will be instantly turned to pulverized meat and sent to hell or wherever they go when they die? I can just see me with a poison spear in my hand attacking a six-hundred foot giant. "A-ha, I gotcha you big bully!" I shout as I stab him in the big toe before being crushed into a mushy pulp. Then as I head down to fire and brimstone, I wonder, "What in the hell did I do that for. Do I have a big ego problem or what? 
    One of our extended family members, -and I won't mention names here- was calmly using the WC one afternoon. Now remember, we were quite poor at the time and good 'ol Charmin tissue was a scarce commodity. This unfortunate person had hid a nice wad of his own personal "crack-cleaner" so he wouldn't get caught in an uncomfortable situation. He was in a hurry to get to the river for some swimming so he grabbed a handful. As he did his duty with it, he felt the searing pain of that nasty scorpion's razor sharp spear. Three times it nailed him before it fell down into the stinking depths below. It was obviously upset at being used for cleaning purposes and once again attacked somebody a million times its size. 
    Well the scorpion's sting is like a rattler bite. It take some time before you feel the full heart-throbbing pain from the poison. At the river, we were having a grand old time dunking each other and doing belly-flops off the ledges. Suddenly the hollering of someone in pain caused everyone to stop their fun for a moment to see what the fuss was all about. Sure enough, Uncl...I mean the scorpion victim was rolling on the beach in pain. The poison had finally settled down and started doing its job, which is to make you as miserable as possible. 
   I'm sure after that harrowing ordeal, he learned a valuable lesson and that is to carefully inspect Mr. Charmin for hidden venomous insects before you clean yourself in such tender areas!

Abraham Lincoln; hero or villain. You decide.

       
   It all started with Dishonest Abe who orchestrated the murder of 600,000 + Americans to force us to have a strong central government that the founding fathers tried to avoid at all costs. And now we have a Muslim socialist making it much worse as fast as he can stroke that pen! The USA should now be called the USSA. United States of Socialist America. The public school system has taught for years that dishonest Abe was a hero who worshiped God and saved the republic and freed the slaves. BUT that is NOT the truth. He never went to church in his life and he bordered on atheism. He did not save the republic in no way, but instead he declared marshal law and took away the sovereignty of the states and gave bankers the full power over the economy. He did not free the slaves. They were already being freed in the northern states and he was an avid slave owner. He could have freed the slaves in a peaceful manner like Briton did and France and Spain and Sweden and Denmark. But instead he used slavery as an excuse to murder his own people because they were exercising their constitutional rights of sovereignty to withdraw from the union because dishonest Abe had levied an unconstitutional tax against the poor southern states that they could not afford to pay. And worst of all...dishonest Abe forced ALL Americans into slavery by starting the most unjust, unconstitutional law ever forced on the american people....the IRS!!! He did this knowing full well that it would NEVER be rescinded. So all you who think Abe is a hero, throw your socialist history books in the trash and educate yourselves with true history......! Nowhere in the congressional law books or constitution can you find a written law or code giving the IRS the power to collect taxes from American people.
    In reality, the Lincoln Memorial is a temple to the idea that government in America is NOT voluntary, and never will be as long as Lincoln is its primary symbol and as long as Lincoln mythology remains the state's cornerstone ideology. Lincoln micromanaged the murder of thousands of Americans in order to prove his point that the central government is NOT voluntary, the states were NEVER sovereign (his own words) and that any group of citizens contemplating leaving it will be killed en masse, their cities burned to the ground, and their wealth confiscated by the US army!
    As a young man Lincoln wrote a book that argued that the Bible was NOT the word of God and that Jesus was NOT the son of God. When he decided to get into politics, he had the book burned. When Herndon was preparing his biography, he asked Mrs. Lincoln to comment on Abe's religious views and she told him that he never became a Christian. "Mr. Lincoln," she said, "had no faith, he never joined a church."
    And now we have a person in the White House who is also NOT a Christian and is subtlety forcing socialism-marxism on the American people. The health care bill is much more than just health care. On page 1001 is "Subtitle C- National Medical Device Registry" which states, 
    "The Secretary shall establish a national medical device registry to facilitate analysis of postmarket safety and outcomes data on each device that is or has been used in or on a patient..."
    In other words, everyone will by microchipped pursuant to the new Health Care Bill and must be registered with the Secretary of Health and Human Services. This law will be enforced 36 months after the health care bill becomes law! 
Not only will we be forced by the IRS to buy health insurance or be audited and fined and even jailed, but we now have to be chipped to "facilitate the doctors in viewing our medical files." NOW THAT IS SCARY AS HELL! 
    Friends, buy the book, "Lincoln Unmasked" by Thomas Dilorenzo and get the real facts about Lincoln.  
    Just another rant folks....and of course, fuel for the mind.
 

My youngest being her normal self; cute!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6JP1cv_Z54 This will brighten your day and make you smile for sure.

Were there giants?

I just received an email with "undoctored" photos of HUGE human skeletons. These things are twenty feet tall! There were archeologists sitting and standing all around these uncovered skeletons and they were tiny in comparison. You know, I've heard stories of giants living on the earth especially in the bible. Number 13:32-33, which is the only other explicit reference to the Nephilim in the canon. In this passage, the Hebrew spies tell their desert-wandering comrades what they found in Canan 

"...All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them." 

    There are many more references to giants in the bible. But these photos offer some proof of their existence. They are simply amazing. 

One is instantly reminded of the first military encounter that David of Bethlehem had with the Philistines:

A champion named Goliath, who was from Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. ... His spear shaft was like a weaver's rod, and its iron point weighed six hundred shekels [about 15 pounds]. (I Samuel 17:4a,7)  They estimate that Goliath was nine to twelve feet tall and that is still a long way from

twenty or more feet! Smokin' duck feathers! Imagine meeting someone that tall. You would barely reach past his knees! He could stomp on you like a bug.
    I had a hard time even believing  that Goliath was as tall as they say, but now we have proof that there were HUGE people roaming the earth many moons ago. If you want the photos just give me your email.
After I wrote this post, I googled it and some sites say it's a hoax. But the pics they were talking about were nothing like the ones I saw.
In conclusion. You can't even believe your own eyes, much less your ears! 

Shopping at Hell-Mart!

    I have a new name for Wal-Mart, Hell-Mart. My latest experience went like this. I forced myself into Hellmart one day and bought a 12v/USB port, cost 14 bucks. Headed outside, threw the receipt in the garbage and went on my way. One month later it quit working. I was pissed off. Normally I would have thrown it away and bought another one somewhere else, but I though, "This is bullshit, can't them damn Chinese make anything that works longer than one month?" (No offense to the Chinese who make good products) So I forced myself back into Hellmart and after waiting in line for like a century, I asked if I could just exchange it for a new one. "Oh hell no," said the underpaid employee. "It has to be in its original package and with a receipt."
   OK numb-nuts, why would I save the damn plastic package. I bought it to use, not to store on a shelf in its original package just to look at every day! And why would I save the flippin receipt, you damn birdbrain? It's only 14 bucks, for crying out loud! Am I going to break the poor billionaire owners of Hellmart with a 14 dollar item? The poor owners who only make 36 billion a year, 98 million a day! WAKE the HELL up America! Don't you know Hellmart has bankrupted this country? Do you actually think that by saving 4 cents on a tube of Roll-aids you're getting a good deal and helping America? Oh hell no...HELL NO I say! You are spending much more of your hard earned money than you think. You are stealing jobs from your father, mother, son, daughter, cousin and friend and in turn sending them to the welfare office to collect money that you helped put there which in turn causes your taxes to be raised, which in turn, duh....costs you more money. And that is only one of the NUMEROUS ways Hellmart SCREWS the American worker. You are also arming a communist slave trading nation at an alarming rate. A nation who vowed to KILL ALL WESTERN DOGS! (Remember the 70s and 80s?)
   Did you know Hellmart takes out a life insurance policy on ALL of its employees? And when an employee dies,  Hellmart gets up to ONE MILLION dollars. And this money goes to its executives like CEO Lee Scott who made 29 million bucks in 06! Did you know that 90 % of all Hellmart employees have an income below the poverty line? Do you know that Hellmart avoided 2.5 billion in income taxes just because they can? Did you know Hellmart has bankrupted millions upon millions of hardworking genuine American companies and forced the owners and employees to lower their standard of living and seek help from good old Uncle Sam, which in turn is your tax dollars. Did you know there were 70-80 class action lawsuits against Hellmart for wage violations. Did you know that your local Hellmart store costs your community over 400 grand a year in public assistance programs and state and government subsidies? That's just ONE Hellmart store. So, who funds your community if you don't? Once again, shopping at Hellmart is COSTING you way more than you can imagine. Did you know that if Hellmart raised its prices by just 2 cents per dollar - a 2 dollar pair of socks   made in China of course, would only cost 2.02- they could give their poverty stricken employees a yearly bonus of 7200 dollars and it wouldn't cut into their minimal profit margin of only 36 billion a year! Do you know how much money Hellmart pledged to donate to Chile......a paltry one million dollars! Oh but I forgot to tell you why. Because they just recently leveraged out and bought 58 percent of D&S grocery chain in Chile - Chile's largest grocery store- and will soon put them out of business when they move in.
   So go ahead America, continue "saving" at Hellmart and soon we'll all be forced to live tents in their parking lot working for them and in poverty of course, especially when a Chinese dictator is siting in the White House, because we just wanted to "save" a penny or two at Hellmart. WAKE UP!
   I made a personal vow- "Avoid Hellmart at all costs."
   Peace WON'T be with you till you do the same.

Happy Birthday to Me!

It's my birthday folks....I can't remember which one though since I lost count back at around thirty something. This morn the girls made one of my favorite breakfasts of egg, bacon and cheese muffins with hashbrowns and sliced avocado and a hot cup of coffee....mmmm.
   Then for lunch they whipped up roast chicken, fresh salad, mashed potatoes and gravy....mmmm.
And then to top it off, for dinner we had organic grass fed beef steaks cooked outside on a grill over mesquite coals...wow! Then to finish the evening for desert we had a huge slice of homemade cheesecake with fresh sliced strawberries on top.................out of this world! Now it's late and I'm stuffing my face with a pint of Butter Pecan Haagen Daz ice cream...life just couldn't get any better.
Good night all and may God bless.

Getting ready for spring!

    Hello everyone sorry haven't posted in so long but the life of a farmer-rancher-toolmaker-writer and of course dad, is busy especially this time of the year. I've been planting more pom trees trying to get in another 15 acres so things are quite hectic. We are nearly finished so hopefully it will calm down a little anyway. 

   I was watching the news the other day about the guy who flew his plane into the IRS building...wow! In a way I don't blame him at all especially after reading his manifesto on his web page, it was amazing. What he had to say is so true that it's time us "sheeple" wake up before it's too late.......it already is. The super rich and the big corporations have a free ride like he says and the hardworking american taxpayer bails them out when they're in a bind! What a crime!!!!!!! And then when some poor man has a hard time paying his taxes (unconstitutional by the way) Watch "Breaking the Invisible Shackles of the IRS" by Sherry Peel Jackson. Google it and watch it and then tell me what you think!!!!!

I guess this was the only way he could fight back. But God forbid! He is called a terrorist and criminal! What about our forefathers that fought their own government????? Were they terrorists? What about the civil war. Were they terrorists? What about Andrew Carnegie when he had five hundred of his striking workers killed. Why wasn't he called a terrorist? I'll tell you why, because he was a billionaire and could do anything he wanted to and get away with it. Man I could get into some good conspiracies right now but we'll save that for later....gotta go back to work. Good day folks. 

A harrowing incident for a naive adult. A gold mine for us kids!

    In Vegas Dad and his brothers had made quite a few friends during their prolonged stay. One of them was a man named Don Ritter.* At this time in their lives, there was a plethora of 'End of the World' talk going around in our family. Their favorite pastime was to get together and discuss this eminent doom. Now Mr. Don was somewhat a fanatic about doomsday and was continually buying doomsday related products like guns, ammunition, powder, and reloading equipment.
    During the later part 1969 U. Porter decided he had enough of Las Vegas. He figured he would get out while he could and move to Mexico and help his dad run the farm. Besides, he sincerely believed a worldwide economic collapse was eminent and the sooner they got out of the big city, the better.
   The grapevine has a loud mouth and no sooner had he made up his mind to leave when Mr. Don heard all about his plans. He hurried over and casually brought up the subject.
    "You know," he said warming up, "I've been thinking about moving south. I want to get away from it all because this country is about to collapse. I do have a lot of stuff to haul down though and I don't have a lot of room in my truck. Say, if any of you guys are going down, how about hauling  a few things for me? Heck, I'll even rent a box truck and one of you could drive it down. There will be lots of extra room for your stuff also. All I've got is a few supplies, like canned goods and a few other things for hard times. So, how about it?"
    "All righty then," said U. Porter glad to have a prepaid trip. "No problem, just let me know when you have it loaded."
   Now dear reader, before I continue, I must inform you how strict the laws are in Mexico concerning weapons and ammunition. When it comes to things like assault rifles, gun powder, grenades, anti-aircraft missles, F-14 Tomcats...well now, I'm exaggerating just a little here but you get the picture, right? Anyway these things are totally illegal to cross into Mexico. If you are caught, it's life in prison, no exceptions or maybe you may get the electric chair! (They don't have capital punishment in Mexico, darn it!)
    As soon as Mr. Don had loaded his doomsday equipment in the box truck he threw in a few boxes of canned foods and things of that sort to hide it. Then he called U. Porter and told him to come on over and get it. U. Porter headed over and loaded up his household stuff without even checking what Mr. Don had put in. He then packed up his family, bid farewell to his brothers and started the long trip south.
    He arrived at the border totally unaware of the contents in the back of his truck. Now the laws in Mexico were specifically designed to facilitate the offering of bribes. In order to import anything into that country, you have to hire a customs agent and itemize everything you have. This process is so tedious and slow that one would much rather slip them a few bucks and be on their way.
    So here is U. Porter driving across the international border and as usual, he gets pulled over to be inspected by the Federales. (Customs officers) But he had not fear because all he had on board was household goods and foodstuff...so he thought. The Federale swaggered over and ordered him out of the truck.
    "Where you go?" he asked in broken English.
    "Oh, just down to my dads farm," said U. Porter.
    "You no bring contraband, like weepons, or goons, or loots of mula?"
    "Oh no way, just some stuff for my house and some food for my poor papa."
    "Open up dee back," ordered the Fed.
    "Sure no problemo," said U. Porter walking around to the back of the truck totally unaware that he was three feet from life in prison or even better, execution by firing squad! He rolled up the big door and stepped back as the Fed laboriously climbed up to have a look.
    "See, I told you so," said U. Porter as the Fed aimed his flashlight towards the front of the truck.
    "You have mucho stuff in heer," he said with a scowl, "Maybe I make you offload it all...or you can fork eet over," he continued making the universal sign for money.
    "You don't have to do that. It would take way too much time...uh how about twenty bucks?"
    "Oh no, you offload eet right now," he ordered.
    "Wait a minute, we can work this out, how about forty bucks, that's a lot of loot," offered U. Porter.
    "Well...OK you got a deal," he said grinning from ear to ear.
    U. Porter crossed his palm with two crisp twenty dollar bills and then climbed in his truck and headed for his new home. Arriving at the ranch, he parked the truck and hollered at some relative (we'll call Birdbrain) to come help him unload his "furniture."
   Birdbrain hopped up in the truck and began throwing things down. As soon as all of U. Porters stuff was unloaded, they began to throw the junk Mr. Don had sent.
   "What in tarnation is this?" said U. Porter as he caught something quit heavy.
   "Oh just a couple of semi-auto pistols," said Birdbrain as he threw something else down.
   "Well what in the name of Willy Coyote is this?"
   "Hmm...well that's a twenty gauge shotgun and here's a twelve gauge, and oh wow here's a double barrel ten gauge with gold plated engravings!" said Birdbrain with glee.
   "Well what in the hell else is in there?" asked U. Porter with a scowl.
   "Huh...let's see, here's a 357 magnum and a 45 auto, and oh looky here, a 50 cal pistol! Oh wow check this out, a fully auto M1 Garand. Cool stuff huh man, where did you get all this loot? Oh boy, what is this? A bucket of gun powder and here's another...no way! Here's a barrel of gunpowder...no TWO barrels!"
   By this time U. Porter was frothing at the mouth he was so angry at his "friend" Mr. Don.
   "Son of a gun," continued Mr. Birdbrain. "Look at all this awesome stuff...there must be three or four trunks of M1 bullets in here. Oh what's in these sacks? Oly cow there must be two hundred pounds of 22 bullets in here! OH MY GOSH!" shouted Birdbrian. "There's barrels of shotgun shells, reloading equipment, cases of primers, caps and bullet shells...this is so cool!"
   By now U. Porter was laying on the ground white as a ghost, his blood veins bulging out of his forehead in anger. Visions of deep dark dungeons and Mexican firing squads flashing through his mind. He was so angry at his so called friend that if he had been there, he would have used some of his own weapons on him!
    You can be sure, after this alarming incident, there were constant threats of "the Fed's are coming" floating through the grapevine. Therefore U. Porter set to work to hide the arsenal of weapons he had just inherited. The guns went up in the attic and the rest of the loot went down into a hidden cave and there they stayed for years. Soon he got the jitters and out of the attic came the guns and into some other hiding place they went. After a while they were moved somewhere else. And then once again. Eventually the years passed and they started  disappearing one by one. Either they would get misplaced and lost, or more likely stolen. Some were even sold to the locals. Many years later Mr. Don finally came to the conclusion that doomsday was still off in the distant future and he showed up one day at the farm and demanded his loot back! Well, what he actually received compared to what he sent down was like a freckle off an elephants rear-end. But after listening to our harrowing stories of being hounded by the Federales, and the Judiciales, and every other 'ales you can thing of, he was consoled and resigned himself to leave with a few of the most expensive weapons.
    During that period, we never had so much fun wasting bullets. We shot at cans and bottles, quail and jackrabbits and anything else that had four legs. There were at least twenty thousand rounds of 22 and M1 bullets and we young bucks wasted every one. It took several years, but we accomplished it with glee!!!!

* Names are changed to protect the guilty.
 

Life's little miracles.

    And then came Amanda Raquel. She was born on January 18th 2000, the Y2K year. The year the millennium started...or did it? Amanda was a beautiful pink chubby little girl. One week into her life, she began throwing up everything we fed her. She could not keep anything down. Her lips would turn blue and she quit gaining weight. We took her to a Pediatrician to find out what was wrong, hoping it was something we could cure with herbs. The Doctor listened to her heart for a few minutes and then sat down at his chair with a serious look on his face.
    "I hate to have to tell you this, but your daughter has severe heart problems and needs to see a heart surgeon at once," he said sympathetically. "I would recommend the Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City. They have some of the worlds best heart specialists," he continued. "There is a hole between the two main chambers in her heart and it is mixing the oxygenated blood with the un-oxygenated blood. This is why she is turning blue around her lips. You should leave immediately, it is serious."
    My heart was now in my throat as I sat there listening. We definitely were not expecting this tragic news. My wife made a few calls and arranged to have our kids taken care of while we were away. So, with heavy hearts and a precious child, we headed north to Salt Lake City.
    Arriving in Salt Lake we were invited to stay at my brother's place. My wife made an appointment for the next day and we went and checked Amanda in. They did a sonogram and sure enough, they found a hole between the two chambers and also a main artery had grown in the wrong place. She would need major heart surgery to correct the problem. Her surgery was scheduled for the following week so we had time to contemplate and pray for a miracle.
   The scene in the hospital surgery hall was one I will never forget. We were both crying as we handed our precious three week old child over to the nurses and watched as they disappeared behind swinging doors. It was a feeling of total helplessness and despair; a feeling of letting our little child down.
    In the waiting room, two surgeons came in and introduced themselves. They sat down and explained what they had to do. She would be hooked up to a special machine that would totally stop the blood from flowing while they operated on her heart. Thus she would actually die for a few minutes.
    "We were just wondering if you had a preference on who performed the operation," continued the youngest doctor after explaining what they had to do. "I would like to perform the operation...but it's up to you...huh, to be honest, I don't have as much experience as Dr. Hawkins here, but he will be my assistant and I'm confident it will be fine.
    "How many of these operations have you performed?" I asked turning to Dr. Hawkins.
    "Over a thousand...but it's up to you."
    "Well, no offense but I would prefer the experience."
    "OK, that's no problem," they said getting up to leave. "We have to tell you there is a fair chance your child could die from complications as this is a very difficult process."
    The next six hours were the longest six hours of our lives. We could not eat, talk,or hardly think. Each tick of the clock was counted agonizingly. Time seemed to stand still. The thoughts that went through our minds tormented our soul. Finally a nurse came in. "The operation was a success, thank the Lord," she said. "We have her in the ICU now. I will be back soon to let you come see her."
    I'll never forget the moment we walked into the ICU and saw our precious child lying lifeless and naked on the bed with countless wires and tubes hooked up to her tiny body. Tears flowed freely as I took her seemingly lifeless little hand and whispered in her ear, "Daddy and Mommy are here now and we love you little angel. We will never leave you again."
    Her grasp tightened around my finger as if she would never let go, and I knew she heard me and was comforted. All of the nurses were like angels from heaven. They treated us like gold. Even the Doctors were considerate of our opinion. What an incredible difference from other hospitals I had been in. They gave us our own little room with a small bed so one of us could sleep while the other was with Amanda.
   Every day the nurses had to take a blood sample from her. This was extremely difficult since her veins were so small. Usually they would call a special nurse in and she still had a hard time finding the vein. Amanda would scream in agony all the while, so much so, that my wife could not stand it and would walk into the hallway and cry. One particular day just after this ordeal, I came in for my turn to be with her and found the nurse holding her in her arms and sobbing silently, as the tears cascaded down her cheeks. She wiped them from her eyes and explained she had fallen in love with little Amanda and just couldn't stand to see her in pain.  A week after the operation, it was time to unhook her from the heart monitor and let her heart beat on its own. They turned it off but her heart would not pump without it so they had to leave it on. The doctor said that if her heart would not start working within the next week, he would have to install a permanent Pacemaker. Every morning they would try to unhook it but with no luck. For five consecutive days, they tried to get her heart to beat on its own, but it would not. We were very worried and praying with all our might. Early the sixth day, I was sleeping in my truck when Mom came out and woke me up with the good news. Here tiny heart was now working on its own.
   When my first son was born, we were treated worse than animals and I vowed to avoid hospitals at all costs. But with Amanda's experience, I must admit it changed my attitude towards some doctors and hospitals. The whole staff was genuinely concerned about our welfare and the well being of our child. During the long hours of the night in the ICU, I would sit and visit with the nurse as she cradled Amanda in her arms and took special care of her. We even became good friends with some of them.
   It was an experience we will never forget.