Saturday, October 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Before I left Baton Rouge, the boys took me out deep sea fishing in the gulf and we had a swell time catching over fifty speckled trout with a few mackerel and red snapper. What was so interesting was watching the sharks try and eat our fish as we reeled them it. Several times when we had a fish on the line a large eight or nine foot shark would leap out of the water and gulp down our fish then disappear below the surface dragging the line until it broke. It was exhilarating for sure. Sometimes as we desperately reeled in a fish, a shark fin would suddenly break surface and follow it and then disappear for a few moments until suddenly our pole would almost break and the line would snap as the mighty beast stole our catch. The movie JAWS surly came to mind each time this happened. I was beginning to wonder if one wasn't going to jump up and bite our small boat in half....! We were in a small twenty-three foot fishing boat and probably would have made a tasty snack for one of them great whites.
Still haven't finished either of my books but hope to be done soon. I'm still collecting funny sayings from the mouths of children, so if anyone wants to share them with me I would love to put them in print. Trying to get at least two hundred pages. So far I'm at one hundred and fifty, so we're getting close. Children sure are a riot. I still get a good laugh from reading through it time and time again.
On a different note, the State legislator just passed a law prohibiting texting while driving. Ok so I know they don't have anything better to do than pass absurd laws to "protect" us helpless sheeple but when are they going to get the drift? How much money do they need? If you are caught texting, its a one hundred-seventy five dollar fine! OK, so what about putting makeup on while driving? Or, hollering at your kids while driving? Eating while driving? Talking to your passengers while driving. I sincerely think they just need to put a auto camera on every corner and in every car that gives you a ticket if you fart louder than fifteen decibels! Or if you scratch your butt while driving, or walking for that matter. Actually, I have a better idea, so you scoundrel politicians take note. Why not make it simple and pass a law that forces everyone who works and is productive, to just bring their paychecks and credit and give it to the "all-knowing and mighty" government and then get on welfare and live like the rest of the unproductive world? That would solve all our problems, since you know what's best for us dumb brutes. I wouldn't be surprised if the likes of Nutsy Peeusky and Hillbilly Clinton are already considering this world problem solving idea. Wake up America and kick them in the ass out of office!
Now that my friends, is fuel for the mind.
Have a great day.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
So much has happened in the last two months it seems I just lost track of time and space. I'll try and keep up from now on but can't make any promises with all that's going on in my life. A few days ago on the job I dropped the sawzall off a wall and it bounced off the ladder and hit my leg and ripped a huge two inch long gash in it. I had to run down to the drugstore and buy some butterfly bandages to pull the gapping wound back together so it would heal. A few days later I was sawing a board when it slipped out of my sweating hands and of course slid down my leg, tearing the bandage off and ripping my poor wound wide open again....arrrrrg! If any of you heard some awful foul language echoing off the mountains or city walls that day, sorry it was me for sure. Now I'm going to sport a huge scar on my leg for the rest of my life...wah. It'll just add to the many other ones I have so no big deal.
Hope all is well with everyone. May God bless.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Hope you all have wonderful family and friends and enjoyed a happy fathers day. Wish you nothing but the best in life.
Now that my friends, is fuel for the mi....well fuel for me anyway.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Now that is fuel for the mind.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Preston must have had insect genes in his blood because wherever he went or whatever he did, it had something to do with insects. Spiders, Walking Sticks, Praying Mantis, Scorpions, he loved them all. Today was his first day in school and of course he stuffed a few of his "friends" in his desk and made sure they were comfortable before paying attention to the task at hand. The teacher wanted all the students to write a small letter of introduction to the class to start the school year. Preston was excited to let everyone know what he liked best of all, so he penned this short sentence on a clean sheet of paper.
"Hello, my name is Preston and I love insex."
Saturday, May 8, 2010
And now our midwife was telling us we needed to transport to a hospital because my wife was having complications. We quickly loaded up the necessary supplies and headed to the nearest hospital two hours away. Our midwife all along had told us the baby would be small, at about five to six pounds according to her measurements. The doctor gave her a sono-gram and told us the baby was only three pounds and that we needed to be in a special hospital three hours further away. Here, another doctor examined the information given us by the previous doctor and concluded Norine needed to take a drug that would stop labor and allow the baby's brain to develop for at least five days. Norine refused and asked them to take their own sono-gram and they would see that the baby was not premature but full term. This upset them a little to question their authority but they finally did and found the baby to be four and a half pounds and that she needed an immediate cesarean. All this time (two days) I was out in the waiting room on a hard seat biting my nails impatiently. But this was a womans only birthing hospital and no men were allowed in except during a two hour window each day. We had all of our babies naturally and my wife did not like the idea of a cesarean but she finally relented and they wheeled her into the operating room. The doctor then remembered to ask her when she had last eaten. "Just a little while ago," was the answer. "Well, we can't operate for another nine hours," said the doctor slightly upset.
My wife now had time to think about what was happening and she said a little prayer that if it was not meant to be that she had a cesarean, she would go into labor and have it naturally. Five minutes later, she started regular labor pains every five minutes. Now in the hospital she met a doctor who had lived with her cousin for three years in San Diego, so he was almost related to her! He was very helpful and went out of his way to see that she was comfortable. Five hours later, little Travis was born naturally and weighed in at five and a half pounds! Just to save face, the doctors still insisted he was premature. But our midwife had been right all along. The next morning in came the doctor who was to perform the cesarean quite upset. "Why didn't you have a cesarean, why didn't you?" she questioned angrily. "How many kids have you had?" asked Norine. "None," was the answer. "Well, I went into labor and I've had thirteen kids and I know what my body can do," said Norine.
A day later, after x-rays and sono-grams, they gave the baby a clean bill of health and sent us home rejoicing. Five days later, little Travis started vomiting and started turning blue all over his body. This made the hair stand up on the back of our heads because this was the tell-tell sign that our daughter Amanda had when she needed major heart surgery. We headed to another hospital three hours away and the doc took an x-ray and said the heart was swelling and we needed to go see a heart specialist at once. We figured Salt Lake was our best bet since that is where Amanda had her operation, but Salt Lake was 19 hours away and the doctor didn't think we would make it. We drove straight through to Phoenix all night and by then our baby was having difficulty breathing even with oxygen, so we checked into emergency at Phoenix Children's Hospital. After an ultrasound, the Cardiologist (Who just happened to be a relative. Small world huh?) showed us where in his aorta he had a growth or a narrowing that was preventing the blood from passing through to the lungs. He needed immediate surgery to cut out the section of vein and reattach it. Sitting on the chair watching as they prepared our little seven day old child for major surgery was heart wrenching. He was such a tiny helpless little man. It seemed impossible to be able to operate on such a little baby. He was crying as loud as his little lungs would allow as they inserted needles and tubes into his fragile body but soon was still and silent when the drugs took effect.
We sat in the intensive care unit all alone in agony for two hours counting each minute until at last the doctor came in and told us the operation was successful and little Travis was doing fine and would be back with us shortly. Four days later Travis was released from the hospital and we headed home for recovery. It is incredible that a child can recover from heart surgery that fast. Needless to say, neither of us had any sleep in the last two weeks, but we felt very grateful to have our child with us still. During our stay many thoughts of despair went through my mind but one day as I sat in the waiting room a large family came in heads bowed, all crying uncontrollably. Their eight year old child had just died of a stomach infection. It was terribly sad to see and I thanked God that my child was still with us. It made me realize there is always someone in a much worse predicament and we should always be grateful and never complain.
So my friends, this is why I haven't had time to post anything on my blog. It has been a very stressful two weeks for sure.
And that my friends is fuel for the mind.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
"Gimmie the gun right now, it's my turn," I ordered trying to sound as bossy as I could.
"No, I'm older and I get to shoot more than you," smiled Danny with a look of superiority.
"I'll tell Dad you took his gun without permission if you don't give it to me right now," I warned.
"Go ahead big tattletale."
"Hand it over right now!" I yelled reaching up to grab it from him. Then a struggle ensued with me trying to grab the gun away from him. You would think I would have learned something from the "knife hacking incident" several years back, but I guess not.
"Knock it off you idiot. Don't you know how dangerous it is to fight over a gun? It could go off and kill someone," he ordered as he lowered the gun. Then, "BAM" it did go off for real! He had unintentionally pulled the trigger and fired the gun. His face immediately grimaced in pain and he started howling like a coyote at a full moon.
"Ouch, damn it hurts!" he cried, "See what you've done. Now I'm probably going to die!"
I was in shear terror and white as a ghost. I followed him as he limped around, asking him where it had hit him and begging him not to tell Dad on me. Like for sure, Dad wasn't going to find out. His son had just shot himself and needed immediate medical attention and I wanted to keep it a secret.
"I think it went through the bone," groaned Danny staring down at his leg in agony. By now I was willing to do anything, but oh no, Danny had a good thing going here so he kept it up.
"It's all your fault you stupid kid. You shouldn't have been trying to grab it from me. Now I might not ever be able to walk again.
"What are we gonna do? We can't tell Dad, he will kill us," I said terrified of the future.
"I don't know but you better let me lean on your shoulder and help me walk back home or I might bleed to death before we get to a hospital."
I immediately became a volunteer crutch and started walking slowly back home.
"I don't see any blood or hole in your foot. Where did it hit you?" I said becoming a little suspicious.
"Gosh, haven't you seen the movies? Sometimes it takes a little while before blood spurts out all over," he answered trying to hide his smile.
"You're lying, you didn't get hit. Take your shoe off and let me see your foot," I ordered.
"OK, help me sit down," he said dragging it out as long as possible.
He carefully untied his shoe and grimaced in false labor as he pulled it off. He then began thoroughly looking for a bloody hole, or a missing toe, or even a scratch. But he searched in vain. When I finally realized it had been a setup, he began rolling in the dirt laughing at me. I was eying that sixshooter and getting ready to make a jump for it so I could show him what a real bullet felt like.
After he had laughed himself sick, he sobered up and said, "No, serious though, I thought for a minute that I had shot my foot because it just went off accidentally. It must have been a close one cause it was aiming right at my it."
"Well you almost gave me a heart attack you idiot," I said relieved at not being implicated in a murder.
"Well, that'll teach ya not to be grabbing guns anymore now won't it?"
I guess it did....for a while anyway.
Friday, April 16, 2010
"Let's take this and see how big a fire it makes," said Someone. Up until now I didn't know there was a kid named someone in the family.
"That sound like a great idea," said Someone else. That was Somebody's brother, I swear.
"Dump a little pile on the ground and light it so we can watch it burn," offered some other Einstein. So, the oldest one in the pack dumped a small pile on the ground and struck a match to it. We all jumped back and watched the fire shoot into the air.
"Cool, like wow dude, do it again, only this time make a bigger pile!" Well, this time we ran for cover as the flames shot into the air.
"Awesome dude, that's some sweet stuff. Let's make a bigger pile this time." It goes without saying that is what we did, only this time a lethal mistake was made. In his haste to get away from the flames the "fire-whisperer" left the can full of powder with the lid off, only a few feet away from the fire. Thus the fire from the "biggest" pile ignited the much larger can of powder.
A huge explosion resounded throughout our valley as fire shot over two hundred feet into the air! A few seconds later after we had gathered our senses, and body parts, did we realize what had just happened. All of us....except one person of course....escaped the searing heat of the flames. Naturally it had to be the youngest innocent bystander, my brother David who was not even eight years old. Just as he had turned to run away, he tripped over a rock and down he went, face first into the ground. Before he could think about getting up, fire was raining down from heaven as we watched helplessly from a distance. He quickly jumped up and started running away as the smoking flames burned through his clothing. I shifted from shock into high gear and chased him down, slapping at the fire on his clothing and putting it out. At the shop a few hundred yards away, Uncle Paul and the rest of the world had heard the explosion and came running to see what in God's burnt earth had happened!
Mom started to cry when she saw her son, but she quickly pulled herself together and took charge. She started applying Aloe Vera leaves to the large blisters that were now forming on his back. This helped tremendously but he was still in agony. The only solution was to lay him on his stomach on a plank with both arms in buckets of cold water while she softly soaked his back with a wet cloth. Once again, Dad was gone on a trip with the only vehicle in the family that could have taken him to the hospital several hours away. As usual there were no phones or means to communicate with the outside world, so we had to do the best we could, right there. All night long and a few days after that, Mom was by his side keeping a wet cloth on his burns to soothe the pain.
When Dad returned and saw his son lying there suffering, he was furious. I was the oldest of his sons at the "bomb making" incident, so he took his anger out on me in the form of a hard whipping which I deserved. I should have got my younger brothers and got the hell out of there, but I didn't, I was part of it. The next day I was pretty sore from that whipping but I'm sure it didn't compare to what David was going through. He eventually healed up just fine except for a few scars on his elbows and back. After that catastrophe, we steered clear of gun powder for a long time, but one thing leads to the next and now instead of gunpowder, it would be guns! But we'll wait for the next post to tell you about that one.
And that my friends, is fuel for the mind.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Now the women folk weren't endowed with the same plumbing as us boys, so Dad solved this by building a nice outhouse for them. Now they had no reason to complain because this baby was a side-by-side double-crapper, that way there would be no waiting in line. The only problem with this beauty is it didn't afford central heating, so in the winter months when you went out in the middle of the night to "moon the rattlers" it was mighty cold. The women once again complained and Dad solved this by building some indoor pluming in the form of a plywood box with a hole in the top. Over that was a folding lid and underneath, a five gallon bucket. Dad graciously gave us young boys the honor of emptying it morning and evening and you can bet we weren't too happy about it. But at least the cold blooded people didn't have to go out into the freezing darkness to find the "dual-cesspool" anymore.
In the summer months our temporary dwelling was like an oven and attracted all kinds of slimming creatures and pesky insects. There were tarantulas and black widow spiders; huge ten-inch centipedes and evil scorpions, gila monsters and diamondback rattle snakes. Of all these, the devilish little scorpion was by far the most annoying. The others pretty much minded their own business, but not that trouble seeking scorpion. He would purposely smell out a human 10000 times his size and launch a full scale barbed attack on him. I don't understand a scorpion's thinking. Why would they attack someone 10000 times their size? Do they think they're spartan warriors or something? Don't they know they will be instantly turned to pulverized meat and sent to hell or wherever they go when they die? I can just see me with a poison spear in my hand attacking a six-hundred foot giant. "A-ha, I gotcha you big bully!" I shout as I stab him in the big toe before being crushed into a mushy pulp. Then as I head down to fire and brimstone, I wonder, "What in the hell did I do that for. Do I have a big ego problem or what?
One of our extended family members, -and I won't mention names here- was calmly using the WC one afternoon. Now remember, we were quite poor at the time and good 'ol Charmin tissue was a scarce commodity. This unfortunate person had hid a nice wad of his own personal "crack-cleaner" so he wouldn't get caught in an uncomfortable situation. He was in a hurry to get to the river for some swimming so he grabbed a handful. As he did his duty with it, he felt the searing pain of that nasty scorpion's razor sharp spear. Three times it nailed him before it fell down into the stinking depths below. It was obviously upset at being used for cleaning purposes and once again attacked somebody a million times its size.
Well the scorpion's sting is like a rattler bite. It take some time before you feel the full heart-throbbing pain from the poison. At the river, we were having a grand old time dunking each other and doing belly-flops off the ledges. Suddenly the hollering of someone in pain caused everyone to stop their fun for a moment to see what the fuss was all about. Sure enough, Uncl...I mean the scorpion victim was rolling on the beach in pain. The poison had finally settled down and started doing its job, which is to make you as miserable as possible.
I'm sure after that harrowing ordeal, he learned a valuable lesson and that is to carefully inspect Mr. Charmin for hidden venomous insects before you clean yourself in such tender areas!
Friday, April 2, 2010
It all started with Dishonest Abe who orchestrated the murder of 600,000 + Americans to force us to have a strong central government that the founding fathers tried to avoid at all costs. And now we have a Muslim socialist making it much worse as fast as he can stroke that pen! The USA should now be called the USSA. United States of Socialist America. The public school system has taught for years that dishonest Abe was a hero who worshiped God and saved the republic and freed the slaves. BUT that is NOT the truth. He never went to church in his life and he bordered on atheism. He did not save the republic in no way, but instead he declared marshal law and took away the sovereignty of the states and gave bankers the full power over the economy. He did not free the slaves. They were already being freed in the northern states and he was an avid slave owner. He could have freed the slaves in a peaceful manner like Briton did and France and Spain and Sweden and Denmark. But instead he used slavery as an excuse to murder his own people because they were exercising their constitutional rights of sovereignty to withdraw from the union because dishonest Abe had levied an unconstitutional tax against the poor southern states that they could not afford to pay. And worst of all...dishonest Abe forced ALL Americans into slavery by starting the most unjust, unconstitutional law ever forced on the american people....the IRS!!! He did this knowing full well that it would NEVER be rescinded. So all you who think Abe is a hero, throw your socialist history books in the trash and educate yourselves with true history......! Nowhere in the congressional law books or constitution can you find a written law or code giving the IRS the power to collect taxes from American people.
In reality, the Lincoln Memorial is a temple to the idea that government in America is NOT voluntary, and never will be as long as Lincoln is its primary symbol and as long as Lincoln mythology remains the state's cornerstone ideology. Lincoln micromanaged the murder of thousands of Americans in order to prove his point that the central government is NOT voluntary, the states were NEVER sovereign (his own words) and that any group of citizens contemplating leaving it will be killed en masse, their cities burned to the ground, and their wealth confiscated by the US army!
As a young man Lincoln wrote a book that argued that the Bible was NOT the word of God and that Jesus was NOT the son of God. When he decided to get into politics, he had the book burned. When Herndon was preparing his biography, he asked Mrs. Lincoln to comment on Abe's religious views and she told him that he never became a Christian. "Mr. Lincoln," she said, "had no faith, he never joined a church."
And now we have a person in the White House who is also NOT a Christian and is subtlety forcing socialism-marxism on the American people. The health care bill is much more than just health care. On page 1001 is "Subtitle C- National Medical Device Registry" which states,
"The Secretary shall establish a national medical device registry to facilitate analysis of postmarket safety and outcomes data on each device that is or has been used in or on a patient..."
In other words, everyone will by microchipped pursuant to the new Health Care Bill and must be registered with the Secretary of Health and Human Services. This law will be enforced 36 months after the health care bill becomes law!
Not only will we be forced by the IRS to buy health insurance or be audited and fined and even jailed, but we now have to be chipped to "facilitate the doctors in viewing our medical files." NOW THAT IS SCARY AS HELL!
Friends, buy the book, "Lincoln Unmasked" by Thomas Dilorenzo and get the real facts about Lincoln.
Just another rant folks....and of course, fuel for the mind.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
"...All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."There are many more references to giants in the bible. But these photos offer some proof of their existence. They are simply amazing.
A champion named Goliath, who was from Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. ... His spear shaft was like a weaver's rod, and its iron point weighed six hundred shekels [about 15 pounds]. (I Samuel 17:4a,7) They estimate that Goliath was nine to twelve feet tall and that is still a long way fromtwenty or more feet! Smokin' duck feathers! Imagine meeting someone that tall. You would barely reach past his knees! He could stomp on you like a bug.
I had a hard time even believing that Goliath was as tall as they say, but now we have proof that there were HUGE people roaming the earth many moons ago. If you want the photos just give me your email.
After I wrote this post, I googled it and some sites say it's a hoax. But the pics they were talking about were nothing like the ones I saw.
In conclusion. You can't even believe your own eyes, much less your ears!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
OK numb-nuts, why would I save the damn plastic package. I bought it to use, not to store on a shelf in its original package just to look at every day! And why would I save the flippin receipt, you damn birdbrain? It's only 14 bucks, for crying out loud! Am I going to break the poor billionaire owners of Hellmart with a 14 dollar item? The poor owners who only make 36 billion a year, 98 million a day! WAKE the HELL up America! Don't you know Hellmart has bankrupted this country? Do you actually think that by saving 4 cents on a tube of Roll-aids you're getting a good deal and helping America? Oh hell no...HELL NO I say! You are spending much more of your hard earned money than you think. You are stealing jobs from your father, mother, son, daughter, cousin and friend and in turn sending them to the welfare office to collect money that you helped put there which in turn causes your taxes to be raised, which in turn, duh....costs you more money. And that is only one of the NUMEROUS ways Hellmart SCREWS the American worker. You are also arming a communist slave trading nation at an alarming rate. A nation who vowed to KILL ALL WESTERN DOGS! (Remember the 70s and 80s?)
Did you know Hellmart takes out a life insurance policy on ALL of its employees? And when an employee dies, Hellmart gets up to ONE MILLION dollars. And this money goes to its executives like CEO Lee Scott who made 29 million bucks in 06! Did you know that 90 % of all Hellmart employees have an income below the poverty line? Do you know that Hellmart avoided 2.5 billion in income taxes just because they can? Did you know Hellmart has bankrupted millions upon millions of hardworking genuine American companies and forced the owners and employees to lower their standard of living and seek help from good old Uncle Sam, which in turn is your tax dollars. Did you know there were 70-80 class action lawsuits against Hellmart for wage violations. Did you know that your local Hellmart store costs your community over 400 grand a year in public assistance programs and state and government subsidies? That's just ONE Hellmart store. So, who funds your community if you don't? Once again, shopping at Hellmart is COSTING you way more than you can imagine. Did you know that if Hellmart raised its prices by just 2 cents per dollar - a 2 dollar pair of socks made in China of course, would only cost 2.02- they could give their poverty stricken employees a yearly bonus of 7200 dollars and it wouldn't cut into their minimal profit margin of only 36 billion a year! Do you know how much money Hellmart pledged to donate to Chile......a paltry one million dollars! Oh but I forgot to tell you why. Because they just recently leveraged out and bought 58 percent of D&S grocery chain in Chile - Chile's largest grocery store- and will soon put them out of business when they move in.
So go ahead America, continue "saving" at Hellmart and soon we'll all be forced to live tents in their parking lot working for them and in poverty of course, especially when a Chinese dictator is siting in the White House, because we just wanted to "save" a penny or two at Hellmart. WAKE UP!
I made a personal vow- "Avoid Hellmart at all costs."
Peace WON'T be with you till you do the same.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Then for lunch they whipped up roast chicken, fresh salad, mashed potatoes and gravy....mmmm.
And then to top it off, for dinner we had organic grass fed beef steaks cooked outside on a grill over mesquite coals...wow! Then to finish the evening for desert we had a huge slice of homemade cheesecake with fresh sliced strawberries on top.................out of this world! Now it's late and I'm stuffing my face with a pint of Butter Pecan Haagen Daz ice cream...life just couldn't get any better.
Good night all and may God bless.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
During the later part 1969 U. Porter decided he had enough of Las Vegas. He figured he would get out while he could and move to Mexico and help his dad run the farm. Besides, he sincerely believed a worldwide economic collapse was eminent and the sooner they got out of the big city, the better.
The grapevine has a loud mouth and no sooner had he made up his mind to leave when Mr. Don heard all about his plans. He hurried over and casually brought up the subject.
"You know," he said warming up, "I've been thinking about moving south. I want to get away from it all because this country is about to collapse. I do have a lot of stuff to haul down though and I don't have a lot of room in my truck. Say, if any of you guys are going down, how about hauling a few things for me? Heck, I'll even rent a box truck and one of you could drive it down. There will be lots of extra room for your stuff also. All I've got is a few supplies, like canned goods and a few other things for hard times. So, how about it?"
"All righty then," said U. Porter glad to have a prepaid trip. "No problem, just let me know when you have it loaded."
Now dear reader, before I continue, I must inform you how strict the laws are in Mexico concerning weapons and ammunition. When it comes to things like assault rifles, gun powder, grenades, anti-aircraft missles, F-14 Tomcats...well now, I'm exaggerating just a little here but you get the picture, right? Anyway these things are totally illegal to cross into Mexico. If you are caught, it's life in prison, no exceptions or maybe you may get the electric chair! (They don't have capital punishment in Mexico, darn it!)
As soon as Mr. Don had loaded his doomsday equipment in the box truck he threw in a few boxes of canned foods and things of that sort to hide it. Then he called U. Porter and told him to come on over and get it. U. Porter headed over and loaded up his household stuff without even checking what Mr. Don had put in. He then packed up his family, bid farewell to his brothers and started the long trip south.
He arrived at the border totally unaware of the contents in the back of his truck. Now the laws in Mexico were specifically designed to facilitate the offering of bribes. In order to import anything into that country, you have to hire a customs agent and itemize everything you have. This process is so tedious and slow that one would much rather slip them a few bucks and be on their way.
So here is U. Porter driving across the international border and as usual, he gets pulled over to be inspected by the Federales. (Customs officers) But he had not fear because all he had on board was household goods and foodstuff...so he thought. The Federale swaggered over and ordered him out of the truck.
"Where you go?" he asked in broken English.
"Oh, just down to my dads farm," said U. Porter.
"You no bring contraband, like weepons, or goons, or loots of mula?"
"Oh no way, just some stuff for my house and some food for my poor papa."
"Open up dee back," ordered the Fed.
"Sure no problemo," said U. Porter walking around to the back of the truck totally unaware that he was three feet from life in prison or even better, execution by firing squad! He rolled up the big door and stepped back as the Fed laboriously climbed up to have a look.
"See, I told you so," said U. Porter as the Fed aimed his flashlight towards the front of the truck.
"You have mucho stuff in heer," he said with a scowl, "Maybe I make you offload it all...or you can fork eet over," he continued making the universal sign for money.
"You don't have to do that. It would take way too much time...uh how about twenty bucks?"
"Oh no, you offload eet right now," he ordered.
"Wait a minute, we can work this out, how about forty bucks, that's a lot of loot," offered U. Porter.
"Well...OK you got a deal," he said grinning from ear to ear.
U. Porter crossed his palm with two crisp twenty dollar bills and then climbed in his truck and headed for his new home. Arriving at the ranch, he parked the truck and hollered at some relative (we'll call Birdbrain) to come help him unload his "furniture."
Birdbrain hopped up in the truck and began throwing things down. As soon as all of U. Porters stuff was unloaded, they began to throw the junk Mr. Don had sent.
"What in tarnation is this?" said U. Porter as he caught something quit heavy.
"Oh just a couple of semi-auto pistols," said Birdbrain as he threw something else down.
"Well what in the name of Willy Coyote is this?"
"Hmm...well that's a twenty gauge shotgun and here's a twelve gauge, and oh wow here's a double barrel ten gauge with gold plated engravings!" said Birdbrain with glee.
"Well what in the hell else is in there?" asked U. Porter with a scowl.
"Huh...let's see, here's a 357 magnum and a 45 auto, and oh looky here, a 50 cal pistol! Oh wow check this out, a fully auto M1 Garand. Cool stuff huh man, where did you get all this loot? Oh boy, what is this? A bucket of gun powder and here's another...no way! Here's a barrel of gunpowder...no TWO barrels!"
By this time U. Porter was frothing at the mouth he was so angry at his "friend" Mr. Don.
"Son of a gun," continued Mr. Birdbrain. "Look at all this awesome stuff...there must be three or four trunks of M1 bullets in here. Oh what's in these sacks? Oly cow there must be two hundred pounds of 22 bullets in here! OH MY GOSH!" shouted Birdbrian. "There's barrels of shotgun shells, reloading equipment, cases of primers, caps and bullet shells...this is so cool!"
By now U. Porter was laying on the ground white as a ghost, his blood veins bulging out of his forehead in anger. Visions of deep dark dungeons and Mexican firing squads flashing through his mind. He was so angry at his so called friend that if he had been there, he would have used some of his own weapons on him!
You can be sure, after this alarming incident, there were constant threats of "the Fed's are coming" floating through the grapevine. Therefore U. Porter set to work to hide the arsenal of weapons he had just inherited. The guns went up in the attic and the rest of the loot went down into a hidden cave and there they stayed for years. Soon he got the jitters and out of the attic came the guns and into some other hiding place they went. After a while they were moved somewhere else. And then once again. Eventually the years passed and they started disappearing one by one. Either they would get misplaced and lost, or more likely stolen. Some were even sold to the locals. Many years later Mr. Don finally came to the conclusion that doomsday was still off in the distant future and he showed up one day at the farm and demanded his loot back! Well, what he actually received compared to what he sent down was like a freckle off an elephants rear-end. But after listening to our harrowing stories of being hounded by the Federales, and the Judiciales, and every other 'ales you can thing of, he was consoled and resigned himself to leave with a few of the most expensive weapons.
During that period, we never had so much fun wasting bullets. We shot at cans and bottles, quail and jackrabbits and anything else that had four legs. There were at least twenty thousand rounds of 22 and M1 bullets and we young bucks wasted every one. It took several years, but we accomplished it with glee!!!!
* Names are changed to protect the guilty.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
"I hate to have to tell you this, but your daughter has severe heart problems and needs to see a heart surgeon at once," he said sympathetically. "I would recommend the Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City. They have some of the worlds best heart specialists," he continued. "There is a hole between the two main chambers in her heart and it is mixing the oxygenated blood with the un-oxygenated blood. This is why she is turning blue around her lips. You should leave immediately, it is serious."
My heart was now in my throat as I sat there listening. We definitely were not expecting this tragic news. My wife made a few calls and arranged to have our kids taken care of while we were away. So, with heavy hearts and a precious child, we headed north to Salt Lake City.
Arriving in Salt Lake we were invited to stay at my brother's place. My wife made an appointment for the next day and we went and checked Amanda in. They did a sonogram and sure enough, they found a hole between the two chambers and also a main artery had grown in the wrong place. She would need major heart surgery to correct the problem. Her surgery was scheduled for the following week so we had time to contemplate and pray for a miracle.
The scene in the hospital surgery hall was one I will never forget. We were both crying as we handed our precious three week old child over to the nurses and watched as they disappeared behind swinging doors. It was a feeling of total helplessness and despair; a feeling of letting our little child down.
In the waiting room, two surgeons came in and introduced themselves. They sat down and explained what they had to do. She would be hooked up to a special machine that would totally stop the blood from flowing while they operated on her heart. Thus she would actually die for a few minutes.
"We were just wondering if you had a preference on who performed the operation," continued the youngest doctor after explaining what they had to do. "I would like to perform the operation...but it's up to you...huh, to be honest, I don't have as much experience as Dr. Hawkins here, but he will be my assistant and I'm confident it will be fine.
"How many of these operations have you performed?" I asked turning to Dr. Hawkins.
"Over a thousand...but it's up to you."
"Well, no offense but I would prefer the experience."
"OK, that's no problem," they said getting up to leave. "We have to tell you there is a fair chance your child could die from complications as this is a very difficult process."
The next six hours were the longest six hours of our lives. We could not eat, talk,or hardly think. Each tick of the clock was counted agonizingly. Time seemed to stand still. The thoughts that went through our minds tormented our soul. Finally a nurse came in. "The operation was a success, thank the Lord," she said. "We have her in the ICU now. I will be back soon to let you come see her."
I'll never forget the moment we walked into the ICU and saw our precious child lying lifeless and naked on the bed with countless wires and tubes hooked up to her tiny body. Tears flowed freely as I took her seemingly lifeless little hand and whispered in her ear, "Daddy and Mommy are here now and we love you little angel. We will never leave you again."
Her grasp tightened around my finger as if she would never let go, and I knew she heard me and was comforted. All of the nurses were like angels from heaven. They treated us like gold. Even the Doctors were considerate of our opinion. What an incredible difference from other hospitals I had been in. They gave us our own little room with a small bed so one of us could sleep while the other was with Amanda.
Every day the nurses had to take a blood sample from her. This was extremely difficult since her veins were so small. Usually they would call a special nurse in and she still had a hard time finding the vein. Amanda would scream in agony all the while, so much so, that my wife could not stand it and would walk into the hallway and cry. One particular day just after this ordeal, I came in for my turn to be with her and found the nurse holding her in her arms and sobbing silently, as the tears cascaded down her cheeks. She wiped them from her eyes and explained she had fallen in love with little Amanda and just couldn't stand to see her in pain. A week after the operation, it was time to unhook her from the heart monitor and let her heart beat on its own. They turned it off but her heart would not pump without it so they had to leave it on. The doctor said that if her heart would not start working within the next week, he would have to install a permanent Pacemaker. Every morning they would try to unhook it but with no luck. For five consecutive days, they tried to get her heart to beat on its own, but it would not. We were very worried and praying with all our might. Early the sixth day, I was sleeping in my truck when Mom came out and woke me up with the good news. Here tiny heart was now working on its own.
When my first son was born, we were treated worse than animals and I vowed to avoid hospitals at all costs. But with Amanda's experience, I must admit it changed my attitude towards some doctors and hospitals. The whole staff was genuinely concerned about our welfare and the well being of our child. During the long hours of the night in the ICU, I would sit and visit with the nurse as she cradled Amanda in her arms and took special care of her. We even became good friends with some of them.
It was an experience we will never forget.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
A note to all you Mexico haters. All the violence going on in Mexico is in the big cities and is always connected to the mafia and drug dealers. So if you aren't in the mafia, or you don't deal drugs, you are comparably safe in Mexico. Just don't get caught driving around in a pimped out Hummer or Escalade and you won't be picked up and held for ransom...!
Lisa, thanks for the 'Kick-ass' award. I would send it back to you but darn...your blog was kick-ass before mine and someone else beat me to it!
I'll post some videos of us fishing on youtube, later.
Been gone for a few days and have a lot of blog reading to catch up on so enjoy everyone!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Just to get an idea of how this might happen I've taken the liberty to add my two cents. But being they're made of copper and nickel, they might not be worth a damn!
I have been married for twenty-five years to the same woman. So that goes without saying I know her pretty darn well in just that short period of time. In fact I know her so well, there are several things that I can predict she will do as a consequence of my actions. One little example. If I walk into the kitchen and love smack her on the hind end, I can predict exactly what she will say.
So one way this could happen is similar to this. Let's just assume we have been living with God for thousands of years, meaning we are really thousands of years old. This is wholly possible because there is no such thing as time with God. No beginning, no end. Now if we are his children and are thousands of years old and God is Omnipotent and All-knowing, then he knows us so damn well he can predict exactly what we are going to do and how we are going to react to every event in are lives! And by knowing this he can enter this info into his "super duper quantum fifty trillion gig" computer and predict exactly what we will do and say every minute of every day for all our lives!
This is the only rational I can come up with......................Oh I did forget one thing. The only other way is some extra smart genius could invent a time machine and just slip right into the future and predict away...oops, how could he predict away if the future hasn't happened yet?
Which reminds me, Back to the Future was a pretty cool movie. And, The Time Machine.
Have you ever wondered about this?
Do you think God just fastforward's time and then rewinds to tell us what will happen?
Or are we just specks of dust in a giant universe and still in the "stone age?"
Friday, January 22, 2010
Amschel Rothchilds made a statement that is now famous. "Give me control of a nation's money supply and I care not who makes it's laws." In 1910 president Woodrow Wilson went to a private meeting on Jekyl Island with the world bankers and planned the Federal Reserve Act which was passed into law in 1913. This act gave a group of private bankers the right to coin "our" money. "The Congress shall have the power to coin money and regulate the value thereof." Article 1 US Constitution."
"I have unwittingly ruined my country. A great industrial nation is controlled by it's system of credit. Our system of credit is concentrated in the hands of a few men. We have come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated governments in the world… no longer a government of free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and vote of the majority, but a government by the opinion and duress of small groups of dominant men." - Woodrow Wilson
Now, these bankers loan the government "our" money every year for the national budget and "we" have to pay the interest on those loans, which is hundreds of billions of dollars every year to private bankers. Oh, by the way the Federal Reserve Bank of New York is a PRIVATELY owned bank!
"Banking was conceived in iniquity and born in sin. Bankers own the Earth. Take it away from them but leave them the power to create money, and, with the flick of a pen, they will create enough money to buy it back again. Take this great power away from them and all great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for then this would be a better and happier world to live in. But, if you want to continue to be the slave of the bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, then let the bankers continue to create money and control credit." - Sir Josiah Stamp, President, Bank of England (2nd richest man in England)
Now that is an amazing statement by a bank owner."
Every effort has been made by the Federal Reserve Board to conceal its powers, but the truth is that the Federal Reserve System has usurped the government. It controls everything in congress and it controls all our foreign relations. It makes and breaks governments at will." - Louis McFadden, Chairman of the House Committee on Banking and Currency!
"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. Already they have raised up a monied aristocracy that has set the government at defiance. The issuing power of money should be taken away from the banks and restored to the people to whom it properly belongs." - Thomas Jefferson
I could go on and on with these facts, but for now we'll chew on these. I tend to believe our great forefathers like Thomas Jefferson and such.
What do you think about it?
Do you believe in any conspiracy?
Do you think this is all fabricated from the minds of lunatics?
Come on, let's delve into the dark conspiracies for some excitement!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Known only to the great God above, this day would live in sorrow and despair for both Papa and Mama. Oh, what would we give for a small glimpse into the future? Yea if we could only foresee a small moment ahead of time. But alas it is not humanly possible because of God’s infinite wisdom.
An aged mother lay softly on her bed, clutching her pillow as a tear slowly fell from her cheek and gently landed among the folds. Her mind had wandered back to that fateful day her darling Jocelyn had left her. Many years had passed and her broken heart had never fully healed. A child’s voice is never forgotten. The soft touch of a daughter’s hand can not be erased. The bright smile and curly golden locks were forever imprinted in her mind. But now time had come to claim its own.
The pitter patter of soft little footsteps was heard echoing down the hall toward her bedroom. The big wooden door softly opened, its cold steel hinges were silent as the little figure brushed by. A glorious sunbeam followed her past the big door, lighting the room with a soft glow. It was a new morn, a new day. A soft and oh so familiar hand reached out and touched her shoulder, shaking it gently.
A New Beginning