This is Lafe jr. heatin' up the piano at the Art Festival

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opRrcVLd_V0   This song is called Corazon de Nino (A child's heart)

Brooke singing No Me Queda Mas at the 5th annual Art Festival

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opRrcVLd_V0 Original song No Me Queda Mas by Selena (I'm Not Staying Any Longer)

From my book, Kids Who Tell It Like It Is. Something to keep you smiling for the holidays.

More accurate a true words have never been written.

   Jeffery's mother was teaching school and today she had a special assignment for her students.
From their several spelling words, she wanted them to use their imagination and write sentences with them. Jeffery bent over and carefully studied his words. Two of them, "born" and "ouch" stood  out like a skinned knee.
    "This is a cinch," he thought, as he penned this stark reality.
    "When I was born, my mom said ouch!"

Into the Abyss. Continued.

To our immense relief, there he was, laying on a huge boulder about twenty feet away from us! The massive rock was about ten feet below from where we stood. Between him and us and beyond, was the Abyss! The boulder had fallen from somewhere above and wedged itself between the two vertical walls, just hanging there in what looked like midair. It was about six feet in diameter and somehow, or better said, someone had pushed Brent across the twenty foot chasm exactly hard enough to make him land on this comparably small area. One step forward or backward and he would certainly fall to his death! He was moaning slightly and of course in shock at what had just transpired.
    "Are you hurt badly?" my frightened voice echoed off the cavern walls. Brent said nothing. He seemed dazed and unaware of his surroundings. And then to our utter horror, he jumped up and began to straddle the two sides of the cavern with his feet and slowly started inching his way up toward us!
    "Brent, stop right now, you are in shock and we're sending for a rope to pull you up!" I hollered frantically as my son Clarence raced back out of the cavern to get one.
Brent paid no attention to our demands and continued inching his way up toward us with nothing below him but blackness. Now dear reader, just imagine two vertical nearly smooth rock walls from four to five feet apart and this totally psyched out individual leveraging himself up the walls with no apparent footholds and just empty space below him. Nothing to hold on to, except the rock walls and yet somehow he was climbing up towards us. Absolute insanity! 
At least fifteen to twenty feet he climbed before reaching our outstretched arms to pull him to safety. As soon as he reached the solid footing where we stood, his knees buckled and he slumped to the cavern floor and began sobbing. We all sat there in the darkness contemplating on what had just happened. Back outside my brother Kenny had called Brent's Dad and told him his son had fallen down a bottomless mineshaft and then his phone lost signal before he could explain any further.
     A half hour passed before we could gather our senses and then after quietly thanking the Lord, we slowly made our way out of the Abyss. Brent was mighty shook up, but incredibly, other then a few scrapes and bruises, he was grateful to be alive. To this day, he will attest to the fact that he felt some unknown being push him over the chasm, it being impossible to get there otherwise.
Thus ended our quest for untold riches!

Into the Abyss. A true story. Page 42

    In all reality, the quad ride was just a means of getting to our destination. We had been planning this for a long time. There were untold riches in the El Tigre mine just waiting for us to pick it right off the cavern walls. To help us in our efforts to get rich, we brought three of the worlds best metal detectors in high hopes of sneaking into the dark mine shafts and searching out the mountains of gold! We quickly set up our tents and soon everyone was exploring the many caverns and interesting things to see. Eventually I headed into the biggest mineshaft I could find with metal detector in hand and visions of gold in my mind. I had read a book long ago about this mine. At the time of its operation, it was the richest gold mine in North America. During its peak operation, a twenty mule train of gold bullion would leave the mine every month! As I wandered into the darkening shaft, I noticed several of the gang following me in. As the sparse light from the entrance faded into blackness, a few of the guys pulled out their flashlights and aimed the murky beams deeper into the mine. There were a total of only three flashlights among the whole group, so we had to be careful and stay together. Upon entering the mine cavern, I knew right away this was a very perilous  adventure. In some areas, the shaft dropped hundreds of feet below us and there was only a small trail on one side for us to walk on. One misplaced step would send you into hell somewhere below in the deep. The cave was about four feet wide most of the way and hundreds of feet high. We would slowly inch our way, hugging the wall and placing every foot carefully as we made our way past the dangerous areas.
The blackness was so thick you could almost reach out and touch it but the thrill of adventure and excitement drove us deeper and deeper into the mountain. Eventually, I began sweeping the walls of the shaft with my metal detector. Every few minutes it would start beeping and we would get excited and vigorously chip a piece of ore off the wall. I was paying way to much attention to the walls and not to where I was stepping when I nearly fell off into what I call, The Abyss. This was a vertical mine shaft about five feet wide and hundreds of feet long that went straight down into an abyss! Right about this time, the detector began beeping as I swept it over the wall above my head at the edge of the chasm. In his excitement and without thinking, my 24 year-old nephew Brent shimmied up the cavern walls using one leg on each side. He had a flashlight in his mouth and a small pick in his hand and with the other, he was hanging onto the ledge. I was almost directly below him right at the rim of the precipice. What happened next was not mere chance or coincidental. As Brent began to chip at the ore with his pick, his back foot slipped and instantly his flashlight fell into the abyss and left us in the pitch black darkness! In the next few seconds a million thoughts raced through my mind. Why did this happen? Was it my fault? Why were we so damn stupid to do something like this? How are we going to tell his parents? How are we going to get his body out of the chasm? 
    As these and many other horrible thoughts raced through my mind, I heard Brent falling with a few loud groans  and the sound of him slamming against the rocks, and then all was silent. Eternity passed in the deadly stillness and no one breathed as I fumbled in my pocket to extract my flashlight. My trembling fingers could hardly locate the button to turn it on. I directed the beam down into the abyss and peered down with my heart in my throat, dreading what I should have seen. The powerful beam penetrated the murky darkness faintly illuminated the rocky floor of the deep chasm. Brent was not there! "What in the hell just happened," I wondered aloud. Suddenly we heard a noise somewhere below us and I quickly brought the beam up and pointed in the direction of the sound.....

A history lesson

    OK here goes. In my last post, I pinned the blame for Mexico's corruption on the Catholic Church and now I must explain why.
    Before Mexico's  greatest president, Benito Juarez dethroned the Pope by separating Church and State, the Pope had complete and unhindered control of the government of Mexico. The Pope's deceptive teaching of indulgences; of paying money to absolve ones sins, is the root cause of all this corruption! This is a form of bribery in the strictest sense of the word. If one is brought up all his or her life bribing "God" for their spiritual and temporal sins, then of course one can also bribe the government to not apply the law on their behalf. Or, if you have enough money, you can bribe the law to support you in any endeavor be it illegal or criminal because they, like you, have been brought up with the same convictions; commit sin, pay money to "God" and get forgiven. In other words, murder to get gain, rape, assassinations, dealing drugs, adultery or any form of criminality is OK in a criminal's state of mind as long as he can go to the great Church and pay "God" to absolve him of his crimes! This is what it eventually evolves into. Dear reader, can you see how this has happened? If one can commit a little sin with little or no punishment from either government or church then one soon becomes addicted to his habits and they only get worse. If you tell a child all his life the sky is purple, he will believe it with all his heart and mind. To this day, a Catholic person in Mexico can pay money to be forgiven of his sins. He or she isn't required to repent and sin no more, they are just free to do as they please. I have witnessed it. And now that's the end of my rant.
    Don't take this wrong and  assume I am grouping all Catholic people in this category. Everyone has a conscience, and most people let their conscience be the guide in this matter. There are many millions of good Catholics who abhor and fight the corruption all over the world.  

My turn to rant!

Of Murder, Mayhem and Mexico.
Mexico does not have the  death penalty. The vilest of criminals, if caught, go to jail for a maximum of only 50 years; if they don't have money that is. With money, there is usually a way out of jail and back to whatever put them there in the first place. Due to the extremely low wages for law enforcement, many police officers and military are bribed or in some ways forced into joining the drug cartels. Here they make mega dollars for protecting the drug shipment routes and defending their territory. This is why most of the assassins that work for the drug cartels are professionally trained ex-police or ex-military-turned violent criminal. These murderers have no conscience whatsoever. They glory in their crimes and live for the next kill. Also, since it is such easy money and there are little or no consequences for their actions. Many ex-police officers are getting into the "sport" of kidnapping and extortion.
Due to the avaricious appetite for drugs in the USA, it is only going to get worse in Mexico. All of this could be solved if (1) Mexico would reinstate the death penalty for any politician or government employee or ex-employee convicted of accepting a bribe that results in someones death. Or, other crimes like treason, murder, kidnapping and all heinous crimes against humanity. And (2) if the USA would legalize drugs, just like they did alcohol. I believe this would eventually eradicate the whole problem. If a derelict wants to do drugs, he will get them some way or another. There is no law that will stop him. And now because of the laws made to benefit the drug dealer, he is a criminal. But the Congress of the United States will not legalize this vile business, because it is just that, big business!
    In 2008-2009 there were over 2 kidnappings per day in Mexico! The victims will not go to the law because they get threatened with unconstrained retribution. And, the law is usually involved in the crime! Also, the law rarely solves the crime or arrests the perpetrator, resulting in the loss of their loved ones. Mexico is now the country with the highest rate of abductions in the world!
    On a personal note. I pin the blame for this corruption entirely on the Catholic Church and in my next post I will explain why....so don't get offended.....yet.

Back to normal

    Thanksgiving is now in the past and all are looking forward to a cold winter and the next holidays. Our week long vacation was a success! The weather was absolutely beautiful, with plenty of sunshine and no rain or snow. The day after the celebration ended, a massive storm system moved in with rain, hail, snow and brrrrr cold weather for three consecutive days! Saturday's carnival- fair was too fun for the kids. They had a ball. Then the live auction raised over five thousand dollars for the new Cultural Art center I'm building next year. Everyone donated an item or two, from pies to grandfather clocks and some even    auctioned off themselves for an eight hour work shift! It was fun. Wednesday's concert was also a success in raising over eleven hundred for the center.  After last thanksgiving, we decided we needed a building dedicated to the arts. The kids love to put on plays and give concerts, so we came up with a plan to give fundraising concerts and auctions and anything to raise money for the cause. It will also be used for weddings and music lessons and art lessons and from now on, our next thanksgiving parties! The government has a program to help promote the arts and will give two dollars to every one that we come up with, so that will help tremendously.
   Now.......all is quite and life goes on and it's back to the grindstone my friends! God bless.
   (Picture is the tail end of the thanksgiving parade)
    

Happy Thanksgiving folks.

Freedom of speech. Freedom of religion. Freedom of heavy taxation. Freedom of the press. The right to bear arms. The right to a trial by jury. These are the thing our forefathers fought and died for. Most of the signers of the Declaration of Independence suffered and died for us to have these freedoms! This is what we should be thankful for.....even though most of these freedoms are subtly being taken from us by our liberal government. We are now heavily taxed. Our right to bear arms is all but gone. Some religions are being persecuted. The press is controlled. Our freedom of speech is strictly monitored. But, even with these infringements on our rights, the USA is still the most free country in the world. So let's be grateful and remember what our forefathers gave us!
    Thanksgiving was a blast! There are over three hundred friends and family here to celebrate with. We had the dinner all together and enjoyed the commotion. The kids put on some great plays. Some of them are natural born actors. The quad ride was a winner as usual. Most of the guys had a good time pranking one another. We had a open air concert with several entertainers, Brooke being the grand finale. It was very entertaining and enjoyable, even though it did get quite cold later on at night. Tomorrow is sports day and then there will be a dance in the evening. Saturday is the carnival and live auction. Can't wait!  

What is your favorite "thing" about Thanksgiving?

    Thanksgiving is almost here...yesss!  It's my favorite holiday for sure. There are several things I like about Thanksgiving, but I want to know, what is your favorite part of the holiday? I like visiting with friends and relatives that come...and the food...and the, no I'm kidding. The whole week is a blast, but let's just have your favorite part, ok?

My second Award!

 First I want to thank Bendigo's Rage for giving me this award. I also want to thank him for mentioning my blog and my daughters singing. I want to acknowledge Bendigo's blog here also. I enjoy reading it and it keeps you coming back for more; great blog.
Now for the things my readers don't know about me...hmmmm,
#1 It took me thirty minutes to try and post this award to my sidebar and I still failed...darn!
#2 I only went through 5th grade (home school) dad needed me too much after that...ouch that hurt my ego!
#3 I am highly skilled in several trades....now my ego doesn't hurt so bad.
#4 I make the best coffee...mmm, especially when I roast my own beans in my coffee roaster.
#5 When I was 12 years old, I fell off a horse and broke my wrist...there it goes again.
#6 I have over four hundred books in my shelves and have read most of them, some twice and even thrice.
#7 I took me way too long to think of all this...what a cop out!

    As for the rest of the rules. I will check out the blogs Bendigo mentioned...when time allows...and more then likely follow some of them and then finish what I started here!

  

Tempus Fugit; Time Flies, especially when your busy.

    I've been so busy lately I can't seem to get on here and jog down a few thoughts. Well, at the moment my thoughts just seem to escape me.
    My brothers and I just finished branding another 213 head of cattle we purchased from a rancher up the valley. He had to sell his whole herd to avoid getting his ranch repossessed. He was the ex-mayor of Bavispe who spent a ton of his own money trying to buy votes to get re-elected but lost anyway. During the elections he offered 250 dollars for each  opposing voter card delivered to him, which is a federal crime by the way. 250 dollars is a lot of cash for someone who makes 12 bucks a day. He would keep the voting card until the election was over then give it back to its owner. This would stop the person from voting against him. He managed to buy quite a few cards at considerable personal and "federal" expense. But alas, when no one likes you it is very hard to get voted into public office....unless you have the "media and a LOT of money behind you."  He lost big time and now, three years later is flat broke and on the verge of losing everything. To sum it up; dishonesty does NOT pay. For us, it was just what we were looking for. A complete herd of cows, bulls, heifers and steers at a good price. So, that is what's been happening for the last week..busy..busy...busy.

Winter is right around the corner

Winter is almost here and my favorite time of the year is nearly gone. I love the Autumn when the leaves turn gold and the night gets a slight chill. I have never seen better weather anywhere then right here during September-October with perfect 70 degree days and chilly nights. It seems like only last month we were celebrating thanksgiving and now it's here again! Wow, time sure sails by unnoticed.  Every year family and friends come from all over the states to celebrate here at the ranch. What can I say, it's tradition. There are sports, like baseball, volleyball, and basketball for the teenagers and adults. We have foot races, bike races, sack races and every other race you can think of for the kids. Since quads were invented, we've had a two day quad ride also. The year before last there were 37 quads and several motorbikes on the trail, it was huge! There are old unused roads everywhere up in the mountains, so it gives us plenty of new scenery every time. Of course there's the huge turkey dinner where everyone pigs out and then complains about overeating. Then, there's the program with the kids putting on plays and skits and singing performances which is always fun. And lastly, we have a dance in the gym to close the celebrations. I remember back when I was a teen. I couldn't  wait for thanksgiving every year it took so long to come around. Now, It seems like we just get done  celebrating and boom! Thanksgiving is two weeks away, again!

Here is another one from Brooke. Be careful, you might cry a tear or two!

Brooke Langford Hallelujah 0001

Source: www.youtube.com

The words to this song were changed from the original Shrek theme. This is the Ill Divo version, very beautiful words.

My daughter Brooke singing foolish games.

Amazing voice!!! singing Foolish Games

Source: www.youtube.com

Brooke Langford singing Jewel's Foolish Games

I guess I talked about the art festival so much, I have to post one of the songs she sang there. So enjoy.

Chapter Eighteen. Rambling On.

So now when we wanted to cruise the boulevard with the senoritas, we had our choice of a wrecked '81 ford pickup, or a wrecked '74 ford pickup or an old wrecked ford van. We chose the pickup because there was no way we were gonna cruise chicks in a twelve passenger van.
Winter had come upon us in all its fury and it was mighty chilly that day. Danny, Kenny, Mike, Troy and I wanted to go into Douglas for the weekend to watch a movie and just hang out. We grabbed all the warm gloves, coats, blankets and ski goggles and warm caps we could find. Then, we packed ourselves into the '73 ford pickup as warm as possible. Now this pickup not only didn't have a front end, it didn't have fenders, hood or a windshield either! This is what all the warm gear was for. We spread the blankets  over our legs and put on our ski goggles, gloves and caps and started for town. By the time we arrived in Agua Prieta, even with the heater on full blast, we were freezing cold. Danny was driving and had to face the full thrust of the wind. To combat this, he put two pair of ski goggles on, one over his eyes and the other over his mouth. This was quite a sight, five aliens packed in the front seat of a truck straight out of the junkyard!
    Driving through town was hilarious. People would twist around and stare at us like we were nuts. We would just smile and wave at them. Danny pulled up to the US border checkpoint and stopped. He had icicles clinging to his chin and frozen snot oozing from his nose while his breath fogged up his ski goggles. The customs officer stood there a few moments looking at us in amazement as if we were straight from mars. "Jesus Christ," he said loud enough for the whole department to hear. Then shaking his head to suppress his laughter, he motioned for us to get the hell out of his sight.
    "Se ya later," chortled Danny fogging up his double dose of goggles, and off to the movies we went. There couldn't have been a more desperate bunch of lunatics on earth, but we didn't care, this was just another adventure!

The art festival was a blast.

Had a great time at the Luna de Montana art festival. Met a few famous artists who appraised and actually bought one of my daughter's and sister's paintings! They are so excited about it. My sister Elaine and Lillian, and my daughter Melanie brought some of their paintings to display at the museum.  He, (John Higgins, famous artist) said that Elaine's paintings are worth from 1500 to 2500! Lillian sold four of her paintings and Melanie sold one of hers. He said they have quite a talent and he thinks they should start showing their work at art shows. They also had a silent auction and I won a painters easel for Melanie. The show started with a noted opera singer. She was accompanied with a pianist who plays for the Hermosillo orchestra. They performed for nearly an hour. She sang  absolutely beautiful and flawless, but after a few songs I could tell that the crowd was getting restless. It was all in a different language and sort of monotonous. After their act, the food was served and then my son Lafe played five songs on the piano. He was quite nervous but everybody loved it and gave him a standing ovation. He then played for my daughter Brooke as she sang Josh Groban's Remember When It Rained. Her third song was Hallelujah (Ill Divo version) and when she was done, the audience was on their feet and I noticed most of the adult men, including the Secretary of State, were wiping the tears from their eyes! She sang five songs, the last one was Selena's No Me Queda Mas to which the crowd went wild and gave her another standing ovation. When she sat down, the pianist came over to our table and asked if she would sing I Will Always Love You, and he would accompany her on the piano. She consented and after a few other acts, they  ended the show with that song and another standing ovation. Then it was off to the Plaza to dance the rest of the night away with a live band. Everyone had a wonderful time.

The Luna Montana is here!

Today is the last day of "La Luna Montana" (The Mountain Moon) art festival in Huachineras, a small town about thirty miles from here. This evening at eight pm, my daughter Brooke and son Lafe are going to sing and play piano at the Museo de Arte. Tickets are two hundred pesos ($18) per person. This includes entrance into the museum, a gourmet meal and performances from several artists. Brooke will sing four or five songs including, "Hallelujah" (Ill Divo version) Foolish Games, No Me Queda Mas and Remember When It Rained (duet with Lafe jr. on piano)  Lafe will play several pieces on the piano. It's going to be a blast! This will be their first performance in front of a large audience and they are a little nervous to say the least. I will post some of the performance on the web so you all can enjoy it.

In need of more funny and frank sayings from the mouths of babes!

Back to business! I still need more funny stories from your children. If you have written them down in journals or just stored them in your memory and want your child to be "famous" then email me or post them here and we'll go from there. I know this doesn't reach very many people, but you can help by sending this message to everyone you know and they can do the same and pretty soon the whole world will know...wow cool huh?

I get a lot of mothers who tell me "Oh my child just said something so dang funny the other day...but I forgot what it was! My advice...grab a pen and jot it down in your journal immediately, that way whenever your feeling down and discouraged and you need a laugh, you'll always have something that will make you smile or burst out laughing. Also, when I get on my knees and beg you for MORE stories, you won't say "huh....I forgot what my incredibly intelligent child said...but I do remember, it was sooooo funny."
(Pic) "Oh dad you're just takin sooo long on the 'puter, I think I'll take a siesta for while."

Took delivery of our first cows ever on Oaxaca!

We bought 70 heifers from our friend Dave Hill to take a stab at the cattle business. Sure hope goes good for us.

Of Murder, Mayhem and Mexico. A plea to the lost souls who murdered Benji and Luis.

    I ask you ungodly inhuman murderers. Were you not born of a mother and father? Did they not love and nurture and protect you from birth. Did your mother not give all her strength and nearly die to bring you into this world? Do you not have children of your own to love and to protect? Children who if kidnapped or harmed by any man, you would be willing to die to keep them safe? How can your minds become so full of maggots that you have no conscience whatsoever? You care not for the life of another but you still would protect your own with your life. Do you really believe you will ever live in peace or be free of that horrible feeling of guilt that engulfs your debased mind with the lifestyle you live? Do you not know there is a Great Creator out of whose mouth flows eternal justice and that one day you will stand before him and be held accountable for your crimes against your fellow man? Can you not see that those around you who live by the gun, usually die by the gun? Do you not feel the longing somewhere in your heart to repent and account for your crimes? Or is your conscience so seared and black that you delight in the hellish demon within you and you live every moment to make your life even more degrading and miserable then it already is?

    I ask you insects of hell. Have you not read history? Do you not know that what you sow, you reap, in this life? Do you not realize there is always someone bigger, meaner and more evil then you who will do unto you what you have done unto others? I beg you with all the energy of my soul to fall on your face and repent of your crimes before the great issuer of justice damn’s your soul to eternal torment. Change your evil hearts and beg God and man to forgive you. Spend the rest of your life serving your fellow man and maybe, just maybe Righteousness will pass by you and not require your soul in hell for eternity!

Chapter Twelve. The Big Family

Rounding the corner, we could see Danny lying on the ground. Jared, Lon and a few others were already there. When I was close enough to see my brother, I had to quickly sit on the ground to avoid fainting. It was a gruesome scene. -"Call an ambulance, hurry! ordered Dad as he gathered Danny into his arms "We already did," said Jared who was now feeling guilty for loaning his bike. Danny's face was scraped and bleeding. His scalp had been torn completely off his head and was hanging there full of dirt. He was unconscious so Dad began talking to him trying to bring him back. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he held his son's head and carefully cleaned the dirt from his skull. "Danny, I'm right here son, you're gonna be ok, you understand, your gonna be ok," he choked through his tears. Every few minutes Danny would jerk his body and scream a bloodcurdling yell, but he would not open his eyes or answer Dad. Several minutes went by and the police arrived and began to write a report of the accident. Dad continued to hold Danny in his arms talking to him unceasingly. Fifteen minutes and still no ambulance. "Where is the G....damn ambulance!" he screamed at the police officer. "They're on the way sir, just hold on a few more minutes," answered the policeman. "Well  we called them a half hour ago and we may not have a few more G....damn minutes!" Forty five minutes later, the ambulance arrived. Dad was furious-----------In the hospital, the doctor said that since it was a head injury and he was unconscious, he couldn't give him anesthesia. So Dad held him down while they sewed on his head and Mom had to wait outside of the surgery room and listen to his screams. It broke her heart----- It took five hours of surgery and one hundred and ten stitches to sew up Danny's scalp. Mom stayed with him night and day for two weeks until he finally came out of his coma and began talking to her. "Danny, can you see me, this is mom," she said earnestly. "Yes," was the weak reply. "Well what do I look like?" she asked hoping he was all there. "You look like an ape," he said groggily. Guess he wasn't all there...yet.

California was the shizle!

I went up through the San Joaquin valley and saw all the millions of acres of almonds and grapes and walnuts and  pomegranates and...and...wow that valley is one of the most productive in the world! Stopped at several pom and grape orchards and visited with the owners, it was pretty cool.

Vacation!

I'm going to California today to check out Pom Wonderful's operation. I will be gone for a few days so don't have too much fun everyone, I'll be back!

I need suggestions on a title for my book.

    It has been five years since I started writing my books and they are all...except one, nearing completion. The problem I have is that every time I read a chapter or two, I want to change it a little here and there and so I'm never going to finish if I keep this up. I should just give it to someone to edit it for me and then be satisfied. I still haven't decided on a name either....any suggestions? My first book is an autobiography of myself and family. We have had a very interesting life. From moving to Mexico and living in a tent for twelve years and traveling over a dirt road for five hours that resembles a cow trail to many other experiences that most would find shocking and incredible. My next book is a collection of true sayings from the mouths of little children that are downright hilarious. Each saying will be accompanied by a cartoon type caricature depicting what the saying is about. My last project is a book about the circumstances surrounding the kidnapping and assassination of two peace activists in the state of Chihuahua Mexico. The title of my first book is The Big Family, but I want to change it so I need some suggestions. The next one is titled Kids Who Tell It Like It Is. I might change that one also. Any ideas? The last one is Of Murder, Mayhem and Mexico. That one I like so we might keep it that way.

Chapter Two. A Time Warp.

    That night she slept like a baby with sweet dreams. Early in the morning as the sun was just showing its face and casting light rays off the red mountains surrounding the quaint town. The birds outside her window were singing their beautiful songs of a new day. Off in the distance a rooster crowed his late morning call. She was daydreaming of the previous night with her husband on their honeymoon. Life was serene.
    A terrible shriek jerked her to an upright position! "What in the devil was that?" she thought shaking from fright. "Had someone just fallen from the top of a tall building?" She listened for a few moments, still shivering from that awful shriek, and then it started again. It sounded like two wild hyenas fighting to the death, only there were swearwords bouncing off every wall inside the house! She crept out of bed and tiptoed to the kitchen where the gad-awful screeching was coming from. What she saw was something she would have never imagined in her life.
    Tuffs of hair were strewn about the floor. In the middle of the kitchen were....

Here I am on my horse "Firecracker." (that was his name when I bought it) We were
riding the ranch checking out the fences and enjoying the scenery.

This was NOT what she was thinking.

   Winter was here and the temperatures were beginning to drop. Margaret had asked her husband to go out to the shop and "hook up the heaters." A few moments later, Taylor breezed through the door, "Aunt Margaret, where is Uncle David," he asked. Without thinking she replied, "Oh, he's out in the shop heating up the hookers."

Back in the groove!

Hello small world. I just borrowed brother Sam's computer so I'm up and running....er, typing again.  yyyesssss! Have been working on the ranch a little in the last couple days. Looking for a good site for the ranch house. We jumped four deer yesterday while exploring the ranch on quads, it was fun.

My HP computer just threw a rod and two pistons so I'm posting from David's comp for now. This is the fourth HP comp I've bought in the last four years and believe me, I will NOT EVER buy another HP for as long as I'm still wheezing.
I will not get to post very often until it gets fixed which might take a few weeks since we don't have a computer geek here.

An everyday affair.

    Occasionally he would hit a rut too hard and a crate would tip over, breaking a few bottles and spraying soda all over us just to make the ride more enjoyable.
    It was about two o'clock in the morning and cold as..."ICE!" shouted Michael, "We're sitting on huge blocks of ice covered with sawdust!"
    "Shiver me rear-end!" I hollered over the ruckus, "No wonder my fandoodee is frozen stiff."
    Believe it or not, our benefactor had graciously given us the privilege of riding in his refrigerator! For SEVEN long hours no less. That's how long it took him to get us back home instead of the normal three hours. For seven long, dark, cold and noisy hours we sat on blocks of ice with visions of freezing into lolly-pops.
   I tell ya, be the time we did get home, Micheal and I ran straight to Mom's oven and turned that baby on full throttle. Whipping open the door, we poked our rear-ends inside and left them there until they thawed out.

The Big Family

    By now it was dark and a storm was quickly sweeping across the prairie towards us. Michael and I crawled under the tarp on top of the smelly potatoes, while the thunder and lightning resounded all around us. Uncle Dan and Aunt Jenny and their two oldest kids, Adam and Steven, hunkered down in the cab to try and get some sleep. There was no way anyone was getting out in the darkness and rain to try and access the damage. Besides, they would need scuba gear if they did.
    Sleep was impossible and an eternity passed before we heard the faint sound of motor slipping and sliding through the muck. We listened intently as the noise grew louder...

Another line or two. "Of Murder, Mayhem and Mexico."

His captor sat in silence a few moments contemplating on what Eric had been telling him.
    He seemed troubled in his mind because Eric had lit a spark and it was now beginning to grow. Yet the other side was raging a battle also as it still wanted to continue in the lucrative habits it was accustomed to. 

A taste of my next book. "Of Murder, Mayhem and Mexico."

  There was also a woman in the crowd whose husband had been kidnapped and she had silently paid the ransom but to her horror, they did not release him. Over a year has gone be since that horrible day and she has not heard from the killers or her beloved husband. She can only hope he is still alive, but sadly, it is not likely. She stood up before the legislature and delivered a powerful and compelling speech about the terrible state the country is in and pleaded with them to help her. She also begged them to help everyone who has had the terrible misfortune of having their child or mate snatched from their home and tortured. She lauded the LeBaron's effort and told them to never back down and have faith that God and the government would come to their aid. When she stepped down I had to wipe the tears from my cheek so earnest and heartwrenching was her plea.

More, more, more, I WANT MORE SAYINGS....pretty please.

    I just know that in this gigantic family and out there in the big wide world every kid has his "moment" of fame...or infamy, with a funny or frank saying. Mothers, just reach back into the dark corners of your mind and pull out some of those fading memories of when your kid said something so funny your eyeballs nearly popped out of your head with laughter. I know you have them, you just have to put some WD -40 on that rusty old part of the brain that keeps memories and loosen up those cogs a little, then write them down and share'um with me! Dads, I'm sure you have a few that you can remember too. So quit playing warcraft or halo for a few minutes and send me some...hehe.

Cousin Adam took office today as the new President, or Mayor of Bavispe. He threw a big party with steak, free booze...not for us of course....and a live band with dancing till the wee hours of the morn. He will be Mayor for the next three years. This is his second term...and I hope he does a good job.

Let's go on a Safari Adventure!

   Took a friend down to the ranch yesterday. He wanted to look it over to see how much wild life there is on it. We are thinking of starting a "dude ranch" of some sort and offer a "Safari adventure" where a father and son team can come and bow hunt a buck, or a wild pig. They can also canoe down the river and go fishing and camping. We will also offer wild turkey hunts, horseback riding, mountain lion hunts, quad rides and at certain times of the year, white water rafting. So for a package price you can do several things instead of just hunting, that way the younger ones will enjoy it a lot more.

Early every morning and sometimes in the evenings, I get me a hot cup of coffee and sit down at my computer and try to write at least one page in one of my three ongoing books. Well they're not books yet but I like to call them "books" anyway. I'm trying to finish my "Kids Who Tell It Like It Is" book first, so of course I focus more of my time on it. I'm still looking for a unique artist with a great sense of humor. I have at least 30 drawings I need done to describe some of my "Kids" sayings. Again the artist that comes to mind is Bill Watterson. His "Calvin" caricature reminds me so much of the kids in my book. Of course I know I'm not getting Bill to draw for me, but I know there is someone out there who can do as good or better.

I've been drawing cattle brands and looking up various ones on the web in order to choose a nice looking one to start branding our cattle. Have come up with several different ones that I like and will apply for them. Hope to get at least one or two.
   Branding the poor cattle is a dirty job but someone has to do it. Still, everyone looks forward to the annual roundup, with horseback riding and camping out and all the fun involved.

    My brothers and I just bought a huge ranch in Sonora Mexico. It has a beautiful river that divides the ranch in half. The river is lined with massive cottonwood and mesquite trees. These provide ample shade to the avid fisherman on its shores. The river is full of large wide mouth bass and catfish. There are also plenty of carp and trout. Wild turkey  are abundant and there is plethora of white tail deer and hordes of wild javelin. Sitting on the bank fishing is like heaven...sigh.

This blogging thing is strange and new to me, I feel like I'm talking to myself. Well for now I am talking to myself.

I  could go on forever with these hilarious kids sayings believe me. I have written over 130 pages of classic sayings from the incredible minds of children.

Definitely wouldn't want to be a board...in the next life anyway.

Here's another one I thought was hilarious.
Gabriel, age four, was listening in on a discussion by some older folk. They were talking about what had happened that day and that they were bored out of their minds. Gabriel decided to butt in and add his two cents of intelligence and said, "I don't want to be a board, cuz then I'd get screwed."

This one would have a drawing of a board with a face and with two eyes looking up in alarm at a "wood screw" in forehead.

Please make sure and include everyone in the family picture next time!

Here is a sample of "my" kids sayings.
Jordan was the youngest in the family and I'm sure the most spoiled. He was in the living room observing the family picture when he noticed he wasn't in it.
    "Mom, why ain't I in this family picture?" he demanded.
    "Because you were in heaven at the time honey," she answered.
    "But why did you leave me up there all alone?"
    "I didn't, you were up there with your cousins, Danny and Kacy and Mark."
Jordan realized he had been taken advantage of and said with a look of disgust, "Oh I get it, you just left me up there babysitting!"

    This will have a drawing of a kid with wings and halo, with arms folded and indignant look on face surrounded by three crying babies.

I am also looking for a good artist who can draw similar to Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes. His caricatures perfectly describe the kids in my book. I need someone who will work for a share of the "future profits" of my book, or you tell me?

Intro to the world

Hello out there big world. Just whipped up this blog and thought I could try and spark some interest in my soon to be published (fingers crossed) new book. I exaggerated a little there because I'm still in the process of writing it, but am getting close to the end. It is a collection of true, funny and frank sayings by little kids (and some big ones) I'm still adding sayings to it so if anyone has some that are true and funny or frank, (and original) send them my way please.
After each saying there will be a cartoon type picture depicting the story so it will be quite funny. Kids have a natural talent for getting right to the point and telling it like it is. They usually don't think before speaking, they just spit it out and get on with life.